Well Snodderly....I feel like this thread should be titled...the other shoe keeps dropping.
I have been off the boards...living my life. Busy with work and enjoying the kids. I have been letting H just be out there. I do not hear from him during the week and he stops by to see d13 for about 45 minutes or so on the weekends. That is the only time I see him and I usually make myself scarce.
Anyway...just journaling: A couple of weeks ago H called me. He asked me about a bill he received he knew nothing about. I told him we had discussed this bill many times and that I had paid on it until he moved out. He was fully aware but of course swore he did not know anything about it. Accused me of forging his name and opening up this account etc.
I couldn't even talk to him. Everytime I said anything to him he accused me of lying. I just couldn't stand it. He ranted and ranted for a while and then said why can't we do what is best for the kids. Why do we have to go to court. Then he talked nonsense about if he came back what would we do.
It was a bizarre conversation. I think he may have been drinking. He said that he had noone and talked about his failures. He tried to get me involved in the conversation, but I just couldn't go there. His head is totally screwed up and I am in a good place just leaving him out there.
Anyway, I didn't hear from him or see him for over 10 days after that which was fine by me. Last weekend he came by and brought lunch by both days, commented on how I looked, etc. At this point....I have put up such a wall that what he does can't phase me and my senses told me that something bad was coming. Too nice for no reason.
Fast forward to today....and in the mail I get a petition from H attorney to list the marital property for sale. I had signed the papers back in august, with some changes, and now he wants to take me to court to sell the house unless I reneg on the changes I made.
They were convenience changes and I asked for a smaller commission rate for the realtor. I have no problem reneging....whatever, but what really bothers me is that I told H that I will not help him sell this home. I won't make arrangements for our dog not to be here when someone sees it, I will do the daily housekeeping...but anything major, will be done only if I have time. I work full time and am the only parent to these children.
Anyway, his lawyer and he are crying that I am making it difficult to sell the house. Ick. So now he wants to play games. Nice to me...to ease his guilt............buying lunch and trying to give s16 money....to ease his guilt. Double ick.
I am going to my dad's in a little bit to go over the paperwork from his attorney then I will get back to my attorney tomorrow.
My question is this. I am angry...and I know I shouldn't do things out of anger, but I feel so used by H. I feel so hurt by his actions. Perhaps his family is right and he is only still married to me for the health insurance.
I want to find out. I am thinking of having my attorney notify his that he will be removed from my coverage as of the first of the year. He can buy into cobra (over $400) after that for 18 months, but I am sick of him getting benefits than sh+++ing on me. This would put some nice money back into my paycheck as well.
Snodderly, what should I do. This man will never grow up. Asked me on the phone during our conversation that I spoke of above if he hurt me more than anyone else ever. He is a man lost.
I don't want to be spiteful, but he has left me with every burden. He comes and goes as he pleases with no responsibility. He can spend money joining a gym and going to a tanning booth, but can't ask me if I need money for groceries. It is pathetic.
Part of me wouldn't mind moving. I could get a place and he would not have access. It would be mind and I wouldn't feel like he was entitled to come in like i do now since he pays the mortgage. I just have to keep my kids in their schools and that could be hard.
Also, the thought of him getting money from this house and spending it on his MOW makes me want to vomit.
Anyway, enough of my ranting. I hope this makes sense. I am truly in a good place......but my teenage husband makes me wonder why I am still trying to stand.
