the mlc files--I want to believe

[BeingMe]

there's so much glory for him!! He's had no repercussions at all!

Except he is living an outright lie! Eventually, that kind of life catches up with you. My advice, FWIW, is to not focus on your H and how much he is gaining or not, or how he is not getting any repercussions for what he's done --- in that lies a kind of insanity, frustration and you start to get resentful --- not only of him, but everything in your life, including the spiritual side.

I am not a very religious person, in general, but I do know a little of the bible and Jesus' life and what he preached. I remember something about the other cheek, etc. I looked it up and it's awesome what He says --- Matthew 5:39-41, 44. You probably know these verses well already. So, pray for your H, that he will be healed in whatever manner it pleases God, that somehow you and he might find a way to work together for the best for your D. Pray even for his family, especially in this sad time. Then, live your life --- focus on what is needful in your life, such as money, roof over your heads, better job perhaps, D's schooling, and so forth.

You are probably doing all this already, if I read your character correctly, but there are times when we all wish that the person hurting us and our children would get a little justice. I know exactly how that feels, but I also know that eventually, the best thing is to let it go. Still too early for you perhaps?

I am going through a time now (healthwise) that has put so many things into perspective for me, although I still sometimes cry and wish it wasn't happening to me, but I also know that I have so much for which to be grateful (thank goodness I can come to this site and dump all the negativity). Please try and not waste too much time on your H and his family and his/their foolishness and unkindness --- life is just too short.

Likely, you know all this intellectually, but the emotions haven't quite caught up yet?

In my Liberal Studies class we read all kinds of things --- one interesting text we are studying now is The Cloud of Unknowing (perhaps you are familiar with it, since it is from the Catholic middle ages world). Anyway, one part deals with pride and how it can make reason evil, when pride of worldly attainments (particularly in scholarly works within the faith) becomes more important then the search for the spiritual. Anyway, reading this made me think of your H, especially since this work was written specifically for a novice contemplating the life of a monk.

Take care.