I had a great time in NZ and have been super busy with work etc that I havent really had time to think about H - maybe I'm just happy with my life the way it is??
And I'm really not interested in making contact with him... I'm starting to lean very strongly towards thinking that he might not be the best life partner for me, and I'm not really interested in having a relationship with him. I think its because when I do see him its still so up and down, great when I see him, but I come away feeling down, and then when he doesnt call, I hate it...
I think we want different things in a R, and I'm at the stage where it doesnt matter how much I love him etc, I'm not prepared to settle for less, and if its not making me feel good to see him then I'd rather not.. (it does sound shallow when written down though). I actually dont feel any attraction to him at the moment.
And my guess is that whatever was happening a little while ago, is just going to fizzle out, becuase I'm not going to bring up a R conversation, and neither is he! (Or maybe he will, if I am patient enough!)
I guess what I'm saying is this roller coaster ride sure is strange, and just when you think you knw the layout of the track, another twist or turn is around the corner!
