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Kalni Offline OP
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Is this a sign that this thread will not lock? Maybe I am not supposed to move out of here?

Hi Mish, Bbj. I just got home and my mom said her and my dad need to go to the doctor tomorrow and the kids are off school again so nobody will be around to be with them.

axH called and I told him and he immediately said "I'll come again, dont worry"... Phew!!!!

Mish, I know what you are saying. Believe me I want this to work, otherwise everything happened for nothing. That would be very unfair... But things are going VERY slow and although I am cold and distant I wish he would do something to change that because the more we stay in this "in-between" state, the more discouraged about the outcome I get... See, it's not that we are going slow, we are NOT "going" at all...

No whinning (sp?)... The weather is still gorceous and Ali has a great voice ("round" and soft and very artistic), I will take a trip soon, Christmas season is coming, I am getting stronger and stronger every day. Whatever will come my way, I know I will fine. Maybe not happy, but fine.
Love
K


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(((((Kalni)))))

I'm readining things that sound like you are "going". Slowly, yes, but he is moving. I think as you accept the movement, it will become quicker. You will be happy!

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Maybe not happy, but fine.

That sounds like a guy that has been called negative on more than one occasion around here.

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Kalni Offline OP
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Yep, a squared logic machine...


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"Ali has a great voice ("round" and soft and very artistic)"

Bless you! I think my voice has been described as...expressive before.

And Kalni has... you've guessed it.. a naughty voice! Or chould I say cheeky.

Well, theres alot up ahead.. theres that Venus Pluto on the 12th for a start.. a 'last chance' before its too late. Thats Wednesday!

Al x


Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs
IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08
Reconciled 05/09 now married!
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Kalni Offline OP
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12th? What if I miss the train? What if nothing happens until then? Wednesday is very close!!!
K

Cheeky?


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Ali--


I so wish I understood astrology better. Must be all that Catholic upbringing where we were told it was sinful. How is nature and its phenomena sinful?

What is the Venus/Pluto thing? I feel like there is something in the offing for my sitch--almost like a weird sense of anticipation. Not necessarily a bad feeling, but hard to explain. almost like I need to be prepared for some type of breakthrough. Since I am a Pisces, too, it interests me when you post these tidbits.

K--

Thank you for coming to visit me today. D17 is still pushing buttons, but I do not think she will be taking off again any time soon. She has been too found out. She got caught in some major lies that blew up in her face and her friends are running scared, too. Thank you for being concerned for her. My friends on here were wonderful over the weekend. Some who have my number called a couple times a day to check--more than I can say for D17's BF's mom, who never called me about anything. Oh, that's right, she was hiding D17 out, so it was okay to ignore and let my mom and I be worried sick.

I am loving watching all the tentative steps that your H is taking. Be patient and open the door a bit more. Give him a little bit of encouragement.

SMW


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Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7



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Just from reading her posts, Ali, I could so see the cheeky!

SMW


M40/H36
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current

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7



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I know this thread may lock...

But I had some questions...

They are directed at Bworl and Deb.

Now if you don't want to answer.. I understand.

If you don't want to answer here.. I have my own thread in Newbies.

I hate these questions personally.. cause they take me back to a place I don't really want to go.. but..

off we go...

Deb.. Beyond just giving you xH a chance at things.. why did you try and make it work?

I am pretty sure I noticed in a post to Kalni.. you implied.. you heart was not in it.

So.. in that train of thought.. what could he have done.. to get your heart into it?

Bill.. Bworl... Why did you "Back off". What made you say.. I need to let her do this.

What were you thinking about when you two cut off "communication". I guess I am asking is.. what "Emotions" did you have.

For both of you (Bworl and Deb).. what did you learn from the walk? More specific... how did it help you both to grow thru all the crap.

I know I am asking a lot.. and maybe it is here (DB.com) somewhere.. If so give me a hint..

Take your time.. in responding.

I really want both of you to answer the last question together.


Relax
Eat
Think
Act normal
React.. Smartly.
Do something different.
Emulate.
Do Work.

Lets get "RETARDED" in here.


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Good Evening, Kalni!

If I lock this one, I apologize to you all in advance. \:\)

Sunshine, I think your calling and telling him you were sorry for how you acted is a good first step, but I do agree that you will need to find a way to soften things w/ him.

This is the spot where I think you have to lead him a bit. I know you don't want to "lead" but he's not sure of what to do and I can't blame him. He's walking on eggshells trying to figure out how to make you happy and he's not really getting much information from you. So, he keeps dancing around delicately.

My suggestion would be to simply tell him you are cold and distant b/c you are afraid of getting hurt. Tell him exactly what you need from him. Take his hand and look him in the eye and let him know that you've never felt this type of hurt before and you will not go through it again.

Let him know if you start to open up to him and he hurts you, you'll be gone in an instant and never look back. He needs to hear this from you - clearly, directly - in order to get it.

Once you've told him - and I mean spelled it out so clearly that an idiot could get it - you should then be able to relax a bit. He'll know you are serious and you'll finally have told him EXACTLY what you've wanted to say.

If you keep waiting for him to make the move, you'll keep waiting and being frustrated. He doesn't know what to do and he's really trying to do something, anything to please you and show he's a different man.

Now is the time for you to gently lead him to the path, show him the direction he is to walk, and then let him go on his own. He'll follow if you show him the way. Right now, he's lost and he's doing the best he can.

Help him and it will help you.

RTL


M:38; D: 6
Divorce Final: 10/6/08

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