Surrendering to hope

[istherehope]

As a followup...

I left the house this morning with a suitcase full of clothes that could last 3-4 nights.

I left a note with bullet points about the things that were done around the house, i.e. litterbox, dogs being fed etc., and left some food for him for lunch. One of my bullet points just said "I'll be at X's house, hope you had a nice trip."

Am thinking that he would prefer specific dates for me not being at home, but in this way I was trying to show that I understood the need for space. I also didn't want to suggest any dates for being at home in case this came across as pressure. Sort of a can't really win situation I guess, so I took the option that seemed to be the lesser of 2 evils. If he follows up with me later on how long I'll be at my friend's house, I guess I'll play it by ear but tend toward staying pretty much indefinitely for the next couple of weeks, with the understanding that I will come and get stuff from the house every few days.

Hmm and while I was writing this I got a text from him, from the airport, just said "you are silly." It was in response to an SMS I had sent last night (only in response to him) joking that he was bad at racquetball and that I always beat him, but that he was good at golf (he had sent an SMS that he was very bad at squash).

Why is he so confusing??? Every contact over the past few days since he's been on his biz trip has told me that he wants to be with me, from the nice nicknames, to saying he missed the pets, to reaching out on an almost hourly basis...but I am sure that if I asked him directly, he'd say nothing had changed...

Anyway I know that nobody can answer my question around why he is so confusing, but just wanted to vent. Of course I'm glad that his actions tell me that he loves me etc., and I guess that for now I will just do all I can do to ensure that all interactions are positive, by limiting them and/or ensuring that he initiates them...

I suspect there will be more to come later this afternoon.

ITH