I copied a post from the past that my help. If you would like to see more you can search his name.You will have to set the search time limit to be blank. He is Very wise to the world of mlc. Here you go. Smurf_smr is his name.
Stop believing you need them. You don't need anybody, and, indeed, the more you believe you need somebody the less likely you are to have them. Love is nice, relationships are nice, but they're not essential. You don't have to have them. The more you feel you need something, the more likely you are to radiate an air of anxiety, and panic.
The things that drags all of us down the most is our constant watching of the circumstances around us. A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye and it fills the whole world and puts everything out of focus. Hold it at a proper distance and it can be examined and properly classified. Throw it at your feet and it can be seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway to life
All mlcers say that they are done and don't see a future… blah blah. So based on that there are many success stories. Just concentrate on your success. No one else’s matter.
When you take the fight away the MLC'er has to focus on themselves not on the distraction they sucked you into.
Forget that she is off with the Other Man, remember he is only a bandaid. It is important to focus on you and your Children, Your Wife will not be in crisis forever, until the light bulb goes off in his head, Work on getting a life and enjoying your children
Do not believe what you hear, and believe 1/2 of what you see.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Always agree with your Lost Mate, no matter what. Translation: "Yes, you are right. My mother is a tub of brainless lard."
Always keep a cheery, calm, soothing voice, and an air of happy resignation about you. Translation: I am happy, too, to get this over with and move on with my life. In fact, I'm looking forward to it.
The moment you let go of something you actually gain control over it.
Midlife transition is akin to adolescence or infancy or toddlerhood. It's a human developmental phase, so in that regard, yes, it's a phase. Just as you may have gone through hell or put your parents through hell as a teen, your spouse is now putting you through hell. Yes, there's more accountability to the hell because they are "adults", but the result is often the same. Some will make choices that change their lives, just like some adolescents do. Just as an adolescent often thinks the world sucks and life as they know it is a nightmare, so do someone in MLC.
And as far as getting anything from the horses mouth you then should talk to his ass because that is what is coming out of his mouth is Sh-t
