Well, if you don't see me for a while, I am going to move over to the MLC board. After doing a little research and talking to some folks who have been through this, I think that is where I belong. I will check in from time to time though
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Well cannot seem to get anyone to talk to me on the other board, maybe that is a sign...lol
So talked to H this morning. Seems he now wants to separate out the car insurance and the cell phone bill.
Huh...I feel strangely calm about all of this.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hmmm....do you think he's making a gradual break for it? You have detached to the point of calm. Good for you. Easier to see what is happening without so much emotion thrown in.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
It may be. Honestly, I cannot figure him out at all anymore. As much as I hate to admit this, it would almost be better if he did file at this point, at least then I would know something. Not that I want him too, but on the other hand, I am really not sure WHAT I want right now, and am content knowing that is not something I need to figure out right away.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hey you lil dancing girl... I'm trying to keep up but my dance is different than yours this morning. :-)
You mentioned he's talked about his mortgage. He likes being there for you when you need him. The cell phone and car seem tied into your need for him? He is craving control over his bills because he's losing it in other areas?
He <goes into some type of crisis> (btw, that job of his isn't exactly easy on someone with horrible combat-related memories).
He backs off.
He rescues you.
He likes that.
That scares him because they don't like it when something happens to make them question their decisions once they've "decided".
He tries to take away the variables that are associated with them?
LOL. Don't worry, I don't charge for my blind psychological stretches, but....
If he filed you wouldn't know any more than you do now. You are amazing. You are controlling everything you can right now and making a difference in the world and your family's lives. I'm so impressed that you know exactly what you need to--- this takes time.
(((Deauxlie))) Our mutual friend Craig was right. You know exactly what you are talking about. Thanks for all of that, because you just put into words what I could not.
That is exactly how I feel. I think I will print that and put it up lol!!!
You are right, and I do know this takes time. I am solid on this, I love my H, and I know he is suffering right now. I also know there is not a damned thing I can do for him.
But I can do for me, so that if the time comes when he wants to try again, I will be able to be strong and recommit. I want to be the best I can be, for me and for D12 right now.
So here is my first step:
I am going to stop looking back. I cannot change nor control the past. All I can do is set goals for the future.
Goals:
1. I am moving after the first of the year. Now that the bills are under control, I realize that I can afford a little more in rent, and I would like to rent a house for me and D12, nothing fancy, something closer to the school and with our own space.
That is my first goal. February/March, 2009.
I am looking at my feet...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
