Awesome advice. I do need to distance myself much more. She has really taken advantage as far as day switching. I did take I stand and had 1st right of refusal clause put in to the temp. agreement, which if she has to be gone four more than 4 hrs. I have to be offered the kids first.
This did not set well with her but hey, this is what she thinks she wants.
Detachment is getting easier by the day. I need to not be avail. so much. This needs work, but I'm moving in the right direction.
I also have to remind myself when she withdraws and has an attitude its not always bad.
Thank you so much, I'll drop by your thread soon. Take care, T
Hi Trapt. Just checking in on you and seing where I might find you in that alternate universe. Keep strong and thanks for the thoughtful words or encouragement.
Married 10/12/2002 Me 35 Ring On Her 29 Ring Off D 4 S 2 Don't know if I am in love with you 10/7/08 Kinda Separated 10/7/08 EA/OM 6/6/08
my current thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1623276&page=1&fpart=4
Ahhh the alternate universe...so magical, belongs to Lola Copacabana.
Of course, I let others visit...lol
Trapt man how you be???
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Trapt, I know NOTHING about custody/visitation etc. for kids of sep. parents, but I do remember someone elsewhere on this forum saying that if your WA wants to have the kids (or not have the kids) at a particular time that was scheduled already, you can agree if it is okay with you, but with the condition that the S make up for it at some other time that you decide (hash out the particulars before you go through with it so they can't keep putting you off if you try to settle it later). Just thought I'd pass that along...
Hope you are doing well today, Trapt!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
I'm a doin ok I guess. Detachment is good but a little wierd. Seems like your feelings change for them a bit. I still love her, but it's different in a way. I don't care what she is doing, don't even want to know. Gotta see my L today. Her L is pressuring me to make a choice on the house.
Trying to sell or refi. right now is going to be tough. I'm dragging my feet. Trying to buy time in the hopes she wakes up.
I need to vanish the best I can when it comes to her for now
The clock is ticking..... My trial date is mid Feb. Dark and Detached will now be my mantra. All I can do.
She may be winding down on the replay thing, still no signs of deep depression. She popped out for 3 weeks and looks and acted like she used to. She is better with the kids too. "me" behavior is still there. These changes are very very gradual but there if you really watch.
Started distancing from me again. She has become a lot more private. She used to spill some info. I don't even think she realized this, but now none.
Still shows some anger when pressured.
I guess there is no point trying to figure it out. Whatever happens happens.
Met with my L today, We talked a little my sitch, he understood exactly what was going on with my w. It was a surprise. He said. "You love her, You do not want this at all." "So this is want you want me to do, drag my feet, be as nice as possible and with as little cost as possible."
I said yes, He looked right at me as if he already new about people in crisis. "I've seen this before, I can tell because I don't get many people in here like you." " Do you understand that she may never wake up." I was a little surprised. I said yes but it worth the shot.
He new what I was going through, he said he doesn't see it too often but has seen it a few times.
He seems to be a very nice guy( I'd never thought I'd say that about a L). I do realize that I'm paying him in 6 min. intervals and $50-$75 per page letters and $50 phone calls.(very very aware of this) W's L and him deal with each other on a daily basis.(go figure) I have to be very careful about how much $ I'm spending. WHAT A RACKET. Anyway, not much happening other than that.
I do not want any part of the divorce machine that runs in high gear on a daily basis. It's so sad, however if it happens it happens. This has been one heckuva ride so far, it aint close to over either.
Trapt, speaking from a purely professional standpoint, lawyers are VERY good at dragging their feet.
<~~~ Paralegal...lol
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
