In fact yes. He was quite active on IM yesterday, and yes I know I was supposed to go dark on him...I didn't want him to know I'd taken time off of work though so was sporadically available. He is rightly worried about me damaging my career so I try to keep the fact that this situation is getting to me at work from him.
This stood out to me. You're trying to spare his feelings ... maybe try to make him stop feelings bad and guilty? You're putting him first again, it seems, and I would suggest putting yourself first. If he's worried that he is causing damage to your career tell him he's not, it's your career and it's really nto up to him to "fix" it.
Quote:
I guess I'll just leave a note and ask him to let me know which day he wanted to go to the outlet store, and that I could come by on Saturday or Sunday but to let me know so I can make plans?
It seems to me you're handing your power over to him again. You're letting him have his way of taking you to the store so he can appease his guilt. Let him live with it! The note would sound really apologetic, and also a bit like you're hanging around for those few crumbs of affection that he can spare you right now. I know what it's like to wait around for those! How about saying that the trip to the store would be great but you're hanging out with friends this weekend so another time?
A bit more LRT, a bit more letting go of him ... let him deal with his guilt. He was the one who said "stop the ride I want to get off" so let him feel what that really means, what it's really like. My H wanted a change too and felt the big guilt, but by me letting him feel his guilt (note I did nothing to add to it, i was in full on GAL mode and having a great time) he could come to terms with it and eventually he realised he didn't want this big separation he just wanted our M to change. which it did.
Does this make sense?
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
