Goldey, peace is good.....forgiveness is good (for your sake) but it doesn't mean you have to return to a life of abuse. In time you will feel the things you want to feel. But don't let anyone try to make you feel shame. It is easy for others to sit outside safe & sound and judge those that are going through the stitch. You will be okay. Proud of you and your brave sons. If you need anything....just ask Kerry (lol). I can pray from here, but glad you have him there handy.
Take care, sweetie.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Like everyone else, I am so relieved to hear that you were able to get the orders in place, but I'm sure it doesn't even come close to the relief you must be feeling right about now!
My heart feels heavy for your babies and what they'll be going through in the days, weeks, even months to come. Giving testimony against their father won't be that easy, I'm sure of it, but it sounds like they're ready to unload all the crud they've been carrying around for too long. I am in awe of them and their amazing mother. Your superhero powers of strength and courage do not stop with you - It shines in your children as well!
Be well, strong lady!
(((((((Goldey)))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Today was nice. I did a lot of self-care, which was long overdue. S15 only melted down twice (an improvement). He is going to need a lot of help, and STBX will be the one responsible for the financial burden, if I have my way. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for revenge, but I believe that bad guys need to be held accountable. I'll be back at the courthouse in the am. Had a bad phone interaction w/ STBX tonight. I'm not stupid, it's going to get very very ugly. I'm sure getting a lot of use out of these boots. Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
Goldy, take him to the cleaners and back again! That is the least he can do to pay for the damage he has caused his family. BTW, tell sons to not look at their dad when they testify. Look only at the lawyer or you. That will be easier on them.
Stay strong, sister. You've shown us what you've got, now you can do it.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hus got served today. Police said it went well. Tomorrow he gets the Restraining Order, so he can't contact me at work, or anywhere else. I'll see him in court. Ugh. Goldey is feeling a little sick to her stomach. Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
I am not sure how fast you expect the courts to work. I was told today by a Washington county judge that there are over a half million people in our county and only a few family law judges. They do put priority on cases such as yours that will bump purely financial cases such as mine.
One thing I liked about my lawyer is that he would tell me what he would be doing if he was the opposing lawyer. You have to be thinking defense and offense at the same time.
Have you considered some counseling for S15 and D12 to help prepare them for the their big change in life?
What happens if he doesn't obey the order - you know, calls you at work or wherever?
Are your children in C or have you thought about seeking it? I'm so sorry to hear your S is having a really hard time. Give him lots of love and reassurance. I'm sure you already are.
Well, like you told the kids, try not to look at Hus when you go back into court, but if you do, don't let him scare you. You're a tough gal, Goldey, and you're going to make it through this. You're SuperBoots, remember ? You can do ANYTHING.
((((((((((SuperGoldeyBoots))))))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
What happens if he doesn't obey the order - you know, calls you at work or wherever?
Are your children in C or have you thought about seeking it? I'm so sorry to hear your S is having a really hard time. Give him lots of love and reassurance. I'm sure you already are.
Well, like you told the kids, try not to look at Hus when you go back into court, but if you do, don't let him scare you. You're a tough gal, Goldey, and you're going to make it through this. You're SuperBoots, remember ? You can do ANYTHING.
((((((((((SuperGoldeyBoots))))))))))
Thanks GF, you have no idea what your support (and all you who lurk as well) means to me and my family. The restraining order will be served today. If Hus violates the order, he will be found in contempt of court and the DA will prosecute him. If he shows up, I have pepper spray, and Security will take him out. I reminded them that Hus has a broken leg, so it shouldn't take much to restrain him. Whew. More relief. Kerry, I was in the courthouse yesterday at the same time, and was thinking of you. Saw Thompson, in fact, at 1:30. Hope all went well in your sitch. Let me know if you need a sitter, so you and your friend can go celebrate. It's the least I could do. Peace. Goldey
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
Kerry, BTW, yes the kids have a very good counselor, and lots of people watching and praying for their healing. We're going to be okay, eventually. Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
(lol). I can pray from here, but glad you have him there handy.
Peace.