well then let me know when you guys are just journaling..because if you guys post it then it's how I see it and I respond to that..
I can see why the MC said that and can see why that would be true..I guess I wonder what your wife thought?? She may have thought you were getting back at her for drinking or you were upset..etc..I guess my thoughts are if you are sleeping on the couch then have a reason for your W..and it can be as simple as needing some space...ya feel me??
you two guys are vets..don't let this stuff bother you..
I thought I would un hijack Ken's thread.
Mike,
I don't post much because much of what is happening in my sitch is basic, boring everyday stuff. Work, making dinner, helping kids with homework, taking care of the house and interacting with my W. Treating her like a good friend. Most of my conflict comes now from within and that is looking at the good and pleasent things that are going on in my life and between me and my W and the negative stuff that creeps in there from self doubt and impatience.
I treat her with the utmost respect. Last night for example. My W got sick after eating eggs a couple of weeks ago now she does not like the smell of them. My D wanted an omelet last night so before I started to make it I lit a bunch of candles in the house. My W asked what I was doing. When I told her she said "thank you that is very nice of you and its vert thoughtful." I simply said your welcome. I did it because it was the right thing to do. Not to get anything from her and I did not expect anything in return and she sees that. Before I think I did stuff and expected something from her and it took away from the action.
I understand what Ken is thinking, feeling and sometimes doing because I think it also. Some of the stuff he is doing like moving to the couch I did several months ago and your right I think they see it more as a power play than us being assertive. But I wanted him to know I have done it and I also think about all that stuff and its normal. And again your right that we cannot let it affect our actions and I have learned not to act on what I am thinking or feeling at any perticular moment. They come and go and thankfully do not come very often and do not last very long.
This is hard on all of us no matter where we are in our sitch because of the vulnerability factor and it fuels self doubt and our basic instict to protect ourselves. So I will let you know from now on when I am journeling and when I am not.
