Somehow, in the DB world, that may have made sense....GAL, go have some fun without her.....but I wanted her to know that I was perfectly fine with what ever she decided and that, even though I didn't say anything, I was tired and would have been perfectly happy calling it a night.
NDS, That's what I'm struggling with now going from detaching to attaching to the R again. Not as much advice how to advance the R once there is some connection going on. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
NDS, That's what I'm struggling with now going from detaching to attaching to the R again. Not as much advice how to advance the R once there is some connection going on. Cheers
Coach For me, I honestly never felt like I detached. I learned to deal with the sitch and accept it to some extent, but because we remained so close I never felt detached.
Last night was one of those times where I waffled...DB or....? We ended up home together, in bed and close, but she told me to drop her off and go have some fun without her.
Which did she really want? Would she have been hurt if I just dropped her home and left, or did she really want some space and time alone.
Not really going nuts over the thoughts, but just pondering....tonight is the same thing. She sent me a text to tell me she wants to stay home tonight and relax...took something out for dinner...asks if it's OK with me.
I get the same question in my head from last night....would it be good DB'ing and a 180 to say...."thanks but I am going out tonight", or just assume that I am past all that at this point?
My instinct, and what I said?? "Sounds good....let me know if you need anything at the store and I'll stop on the way home."
That's what I want...I want to stay home with her...I don't want to have to TRY to be away from her if she is acting like she wants to be with me.
Suppose I have to reach a happy medium where I stop trying to figure it out and just roll with the punches....maybe I am there? Maybe she stopped trying figure it all out?
Funny thing, though....no punches in a while and still don't know how I would take that punch if it came...but I hope I am just a little stronger, and smarter than I was a few months ago....duck and cover.
Still those questions....
What will I do to slow the down swings?? Why am I still posting?
Me too, Steady....just don't seem to have much to say or post about.
Funny how venting and whining comes so easy, but the normal every day gets put off. Still spend quite a lot of time reading on here. Always looking and still trying to learn.
"What will I do to slow the down swings?"
"Why am I still posting?"
Forrest's questions have put me into a little bit of funk....not a bad one, but have me thinking again...maybe over thinking...especially as things are so calm with my wife and I.
Then Bill says "I don't think your wife is working on your marriage right now. I think she is enjoying the marriage that she always wanted."
What's that saying? "If you don't know where you are going, how will you know when you get there?"...something like that.
All those years of controlling her...now what do I want? Ultimately, isn't it her that is going to decide where this all goes...what my final destination is going to be? She is in control now even if she doesn't realize, or want to be....still no balance.
I have learned a lot about her feelings and what she has gone through, and I wonder now if she has any inkling of what I may be feeling....and more importantly does she care?
Guess I am just feeling a little weird lately...health problems for my mother, wife's birthday coming up, then the holidays after that....wondering where we will be this time next year.
