Is this worth saving, or am I only fooling myself?

[Dash]

I finally finished up moving last night. It only took me 3 days longer than I had anticipated.

Now comes the real work, sorting out my life.

I'm generally a person who is pretty sure of himself, so I'm struggling extra hard with my emotions being so up and down at the moment. One minute I hate her, the next I'm down again because I miss her so much. Logic has always been one of my strengths, but it seems to be of no use to me right now.

I can't bring myself to even dislike this woman. Yes, she did some horrible things, and I sometimes dwell on those, but at the end of those thoughts I realize that for most part I'm indifferent toward the things she's done. At the same time I find myself searching for her ulterior motive in everything we've done together over the past year.

I expected to feel sad or depressed when I left our old apartment for the last time, but I didn't. I really didn't feel anything. It was the only "home" I have known since moving here almost two years ago. All of my memories of this place are with her and the baby.

How long do I wait? I know every situation is different, but I wish I had some general idea.

I actually got to read quite a bit of DR last night, but I'm not sure how much sank in. I think tonight will be an "off" night. No moving, no sorting, no thinking. Maybe just a glass of wine and DR to keep me company.

I have another IC session on Thursday, maybe my head shrinker will be able to help me come up with something to keep my mind from wandering the way it does and allow me to concentrate again.

I hope everyone else is faring better at the moment than I am.

Dash