Another one bites the dust (2)

[~Sol]

BH
I'm glad I found your post before I went to work. (I'm actually late in getting out to vote...lol, I'll go at lunch). I'm going to give you my take on this.

You are NOT ready to date. From reading your post I can sense you are still vulnerable, and the last thing you need is another complicated R with someone that is kind of your friend. I agree that you need friends, but if you confide in the opposite sex too much you will slip, fall in "lust", and make a mistake. I hope that another female will jump on in here, but as a guy, I have made those mistakes - taking on a new R too soon when I knew I shouldn't, but things "just happened" when I knew better. You need a whole lot of TIME for yourself now.

I think it's cute also that this mechanic guy has a crush on you, but you even said it yourself - he's not your "type". On top of that, you're not completely healed! You still have wounds to recover from, but trust me talking to a good looking guy that already professed his "crush" on you is no way to be handling this. I hope I'm not being too harsh on you, I'm just being bluntly honest here, and I'm speaking from experience as well. Frankly, I'm not too sure about the opposite sex being the "buddies" we confide in. I usually go to a male friend but someone that can understand where I'm coming from. When you start to mix the sexes and talk about R's and the past hurts going on, well that's the same as removing a scab when it was healing, only exposing the wound to more pain.

Even if you hang out with a male friend, it's still going "out with a man". I would keep this mechanic guy at a distance now, trust me. He only wants to get into a R with you which is obvious, and something you DON'T need at this time in your life. You have just accepted that your M is over and let your H go. So now you are in a transition phase, and it's not the right time to get involved with a guy whether its "innocent" or not. You need to get through this transition, get completely healed so you CAN have a healthy R in the near future.

Please keep him at a distance, don't string him along because that's EXACTLY what will happen. And you know very well that if a R "happens" and doesn't work out, or you feel like you've made a mistake, it will only hurt you. I'm not too sure that he will make a good friend if he has romantic feelings for you, ya know? It's just a dangerous mix. You have helped me along in the past, and still do, and I appreciate it greatly. I hope that I am helping you now.