I also want to be sure that I am not filing the void caused by my broken M as well. I know I need structure in my life, and I also know I have done a good job at making the mistakes I've made! Oh if I knew then what I know now!!
It's great that you're at the point to talk to your pastor. Definitely ask away! I think even when you become a Christian, the struggles will always be there - it's a constant fight, we struggle with our own inner demons whatever they might be, and I think it wouldn't be worth it if there was no struggle. Everything I see about the teachings in the Bible point to goodness, that's what has been attractive to me, more so the spiritual men I have met and look up to and that forces me to see my own shortcomings - something I want to improve on. I wish you well in yours too!
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~