My 29 year old wife going through MLC, this sucks

[Dawn of Hope]

BSC,
The type of conversation you had about MySpace is pretty normal for these paranoid MLCers, I think. My H went ballistic when I mentioned that I had looked at his phone, about a month before the bomb (never bothered him during all the years we were doing okay in our R). He has also accused me of "stalking" OW, which is ridiculous, as the most I ever did was to look her up on MySpace and such--have never contacted her or done anything to hurt or sabotage or scare her, not even when we were in the same room for the first time this past weekend (see my thread if you want details).

I think their guilt makes them justify their actions by accusing us of doing the same stuff they are doing. Although that's not 100% universal...I don't think my H would believe I was having an A unless I told him or he had some other source of proof--I think that even in MLC fog, he knows darn well I would never do that.

Anyway, this isn't supposed to be about me...SirPrize is right--do whatever you need to do to deal with your pain in safe ways, where she won't see the evidence of it. There is a reason they always talk about the MLC roller coaster. You will have good days and bad ones, and you have to figure out what helps you to get through the bad ones. If you're going to go through with this and DB your marriage, you have to dig deep into yourself and find resources that you had no idea you possessed, and also look for support and help outside yourself wherever you may find it (as long as it's healthy, of course...drowning yourself in a bottle is not going to help, nor is having a "revenge" affair!).

Don't be afraid to go on ADs, or ask for help, or seek out a group or a spiritual advisor. Oh yes...if you can scrape up the money for it, I can HIGHLY recommend DB coaching...get 3 sessions if you can afford it, it's well worth it, and the follow-up really helps you feel more confident that you are on the right track. I've had 6 sessions with Jody, and it's been worth every penny, and when I get more pennies I will have more sessions.

Take care of YOURSELF...what are you doing today for fun??

Peace,
Dawn