I wore my cleaver in the head as usual, but this year I added some blood and vampire fangs. D6 cried when she saw me and did not like it one bit.
After a great weekend with the kids, G40 and her daughter, W called late last night and denied my request to have an extra day for taking the kids on a trip to the Washington coast during Thanksgiving. She started some weird accusing talk about me taking the kids and having fun with them on halloween. We have it in the parenting plan that we negotiate how to spend halloween (together), but D6 had asked her if she could go out with G40's daughter. I even said it was no big deal at the time and I would be ok going out with W and the kids for trick or treating, but W thought the kids would have more fun with other kids (G40's neices and nephews). W seems to think I had put D6 up to this and when she started to become difficult to reason with, I just said "This conversation is over. Have a good night" and hung up.
She tried calling back multiple times and I did not want to answer. I think it is a bit strange that I want hardly anything to do with her anymore and am anxious to get this divorce done.
We settled and got that recorded in front of the judge. All that remains is for my lawyer to write up a judgement and have me sign it sometime over the next week.
I got there eary and sat in the coffee room and composed my first greeting card to G40. Then my L arrived and we shot the breeze until W's substitute L arrived. My L and I cheerfully greeted him. The 2 L's and I talked about the negotiations for a bit. This opposing L knew very little of the case and had never my W before. My L and I then went to tell the judge we were about ready. I saw W come in through security as we walked by and she looked very unhappy - I waved at her and pointed the direction where her L was at.
The 2 lawyers and W went in to talk with the judge. I think W was allowed in because she was so ill informed about the proceedings which was just for the L's. Then all of us sat before the judge who told us that she saw we were real close and that it would be best for us to not have this go to a trial as there was more important cases with custody that could bump us. The judge also said that she signed off on our parenting plan.
So we went back and forth with me in the hall and W in a meeting room and the 2 L's going back and forth. We agreed to split half of what they were asking for back child support as the difference would be eaten up anyway by a trial.
I asked my L what kind of demeanor my W was in when he was meeting with her and her L. He said that it was exactly how I had told him when she has a scowl on her face - she was being a real b!tch.
We then went back in front of the judge who recorded the lawyers settlement. The judge was appreciative that we were able to settle and that it was best that we stop figting over the divorce for our childrens sake. She also liked that we had thought about our kids college many years before we needed to. When we all left nothing was said between W and I.
I have a huge relief now because I finally know what my future financial situation will be. I can refinance the whole division of assets and spousal support buyout. I still must pay $600 a month child support and pay for all the lessons, day care, health insurance, life insurance. We will share the cost of college based upon U of O level and our income ratios at that time for each year of college will be how each of us share the cost.
That's done. You seem good. I'm a little sad for you. It is what it is; your wife went to live with OM and you grew and moved forward with your life. It's just sad to see it come to this, but unfortunately, the reality is that this is what happens more often than not. You handled it well.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Hey, my marriage turned out just like 50% of all other marriages. The next one is going to stick though.
I am doing great. I went and got a flu shot afterward and then bought D6 her girlscout clothes for her first meeting tonight. I am going to ask W to take care of S8 while I attend the first meeting as they dont allow siblings to be there. It may be that she is so pissed off that D6 will have to go to the meeting by herself while I take care of S8.
My current mortgage company is being too agressive towards me asking for loan fees and other things up front before we have even talked about their rates. I dont even have a divorce judgement yet. I will chose a different mortgage company if they dont back down. Either they are very desperate or are very confident in their refinance product.
Good for you that it is over and you can move forward. I guess now you can actually kiss G40, right?
Anyway, I do agree w/ Phoenixdeux b/c it is sad that any marriage has to come to a D. However, I know you can hold your head up high for taking the high road and it is on XW to see that she wasn't willing to change in the end. It is unfortunate, but it is true.
Your next one will last b/c you've learned a lot out of this process, as unfortunate as that may seem. I too am beginning to understand and accept that I'll be better and much happier w/out XW. I wish it wasn't like this, but it is and thus, I can either brood about it or learn and grow from it.
Growing is what the correct answer is and you, my friend, have shown tremendous growth and class throughout your entire process.
