Where there is sadness, joy

[LolaL]

I am going to start reading over there. I was forwarded a "joke" MLC...an explanation of sorts and my H fit every single one of the criteria. He is so wishy washy, one day talking about D, the next acting like we never had the conversation. The best thing I ever did was to go dark, or really really dim because I still speak with him on occasion although I limit those. It has given me time to gain some insight.

I still love him very much, and I don't think that will ever change, but I also am beginning to realize that I dont think he can help this. I also think it may be coupled with PTSD as he was German Air Force Special Ops, and saw some horrendous things during the war in Somalia. I want to begin researching it a bit and see if there is any correlation between the two. But in the meantime, although I am detaching, and have worked very hard setting boundaries, my ultimate goal is still to hope and have faith that he and I will come through this. I have no expectations of him right now, and know that I have to find strength within myself and the people who surround me. But that, by no means, makes me want to give up.

Today is not the day.