WAW has been home for 19 weeks now

[GH31]

Hello Saffie,

Good to hear from you again.

When W found out I was planning to move she said "Well that's just great..." and "how can we really be over?". So based on her own admission that the situation is ridiculous, I have decided to stay put for now. I left the house last night without saying anything whilst she was in the shower and was gone for about 3 hours. When I got home she was asking "where have you been?" and I just said "out". W said "why didn't you leave me a note? Or say where you would be?" and I replied "Someone has just admitted to caring about my whereabouts and being concerned that I didn't tell her where I was going...". She quickly went quiet again as if she was embarasesed that she cares about me whilst trying to put on this tough, indifferent exterior!

I also said to her "Since you have decided to take care of business and agree that this plan is ridiculous, I have decided to stay right here". W didn't seem perturbed by this and then trimmed my goatee and we had a chat about the day.

Let's have a look at what you've written to me Saffie...

I find your description of her to be that of one very manipulative woman

I would agree with you there. A lot of what I read suggests that all women "test" men to a degree (to see if they're a real man) and my W is probably much more of a tester than most. In the past pre-A I ruthlessly responded to her tests and made it very clear that I would not be pushed around.

Deep down I believe you know that you are going to have to follow through on your threat to leave. As things stand at the moment there is no doubt in my mind that she WILL see OM when he visits.

I am thinking this too. Although, I have told her father and some of her siblings about her plans. Her Dad was furious with her about it and W was furious that I had exposed her. I simply said "if you think it's appropriate and you're proud of it, then shout it from the rooftops". Oddly, she seems to respect the fact that I confronted OM and deleted all of the pictures from the computer - she was angry/sour about it but that lasted a maximum of 24 hours. By staying at home it will make it harder for her and OM to spend time together, particularly as her my father-in-law is aware of her deranged little plan.

If I were you I would have somewhere to move in readiness for OM's visit in case she does make contact so that you can make a quick exit. I don't think it will be long before she follows.

I have my boxes and have organised all of my belongings into one place. I think my W likes to pretend she doesn't need me, but she has stayed with me for the last 6 months and didn't like it when I came back to Australia and went totally dark.

You are so close to cracking this one.

Saffie, I hope that you are right. I do wonder occasionally if I really want to crack it though given the enormity of what has happened this year.

Deep down she is too scared to lose you, for whatever reason, otherwise she would have ditched you by now. I don't know if it's because you are a better sugar daddy to her, (sorry for being so cynical).

I have sorted this one out. I pay for the rent and she pays for all of the groceries and household bills now that we're both working. I did take her climbing the other day and out for dinner, but the following day she took me to the cinema and bought me lunch. She also gave me a weekly travel pass this week. There seems to be a bit more quid pro quo recently. Yes, I don't know why she hasn't ditched me. I have told her several times "just go to OM if you think he's everything you look for in a man" and "the cage door is open" - words to that effect, and she ends up just staying on the fence.

Methinks she needs you more than you need her.

I think there may be quite some truth in this Saffie. I know from both speaking with her that I meet W's need for conversation much better than OM, and that W and I have a much deeper connection. I can also say without blowing my own trumpet that I am better looking ;).

She also thinks I have a much thicker skin, more ambition and other things... what she got from OM that I didn't give her was including her in my life, kindness, thoughtfulness and generosity. For all of this year I have maintained 180s in this area.

Now it's a case of W being wracked with guilt for "destroying OM's dream", "letting him down", lying to him and deceiving him and the rest of it. Plus the residual infatuation chemicals in her head. What I find most curious is that she occasionally says stuff like "At least OM begged me to stay and to go back. You didn't!".

How very peculiar. I know that this can't last.