I'm with the other two. if you can it probably has to be - moving out and going dark as you have previously wanted to do.
This could go on for years and she is is completely manipulating you while she sits o the fence waiting for her feelings to dictate her choice.
Generate feelings in her by taking you as a choice out of the piture - that way she will know what it is like to be without you which will probably tip her in your direction.
Take the control away from her.
You want her only when she is asking you to continue your marriage.
