thanks, Here is my thought process. I was kind of blown away by my in laws who caught me by surprise by the show of support. They care about us both, but are disappointed in their daughter. They are concerned because she is not the same person and is just a shell living in a fantasy world. My W is very worried about money and says so every day. She has mentioned that maybe we should stay together so that WE can save some money ( her parents and I believe that she is just using me to pay the bills while she is doing what she wants). My thoughts are that so far she has had no consequences.
By forcing her to deal with the financial side of things including living arrangements she has to deal with the reality of the situation. She has already racked up 2000$ on her credit card, and has me to pay half the house bills and walk the dog.
I guess my hope is that she would wake up but I know that is not likely right away, I guess she really has had no chance to miss me. Right now she can do what she wants with who she wants and I guess I can't deal with being in the same house while she does this. I know if I force the issue that I must be prepared for the results even if she doesn't come back.
I will not bring up the PA I don't think it would be helpful I need to show her that I need to GAL and with or without her I need to move forward. I want to show her that I mean what I say and that this was her choice she can't have her cake and eat it too.
I spoke with my DB coach today he said that I am making headway but that if I do give deadlines I must prepare myself for what happens.and recommended that I do not mention the PA. I am looking at the deadline as a 180 but have to be ok with the possible consequences I am almost there (it scares the crap out of me) but I don't know if i can be cheerful while she is going to have sex with another man. I have been reading some posts who talk about needing to be apart to work on themselves and give their H or W a chance to miss them. Maybe this would be part of me going dark for a while. I don't know if this makes sense but I need to do something for my mental health and self respect. My In=laws feel as well I need to give her the deadline as well as they think she needs a dose of reality and that she has been a princess for most of her life. She has been good at avoiding reality and getting away with it. Thoughts? My father in-law warned me she was a handful before we got married.
cheers jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
