Creeping through no man's land

[ACJ]

You're sound a lot chirpier today --- sure hope so.

Yes I am thank you.

I think you got my H down to a t. Ironically I think I may have been one of those people too but like you have got myself out of that trap.

[Truelove]

Hi ACJ,
Just wanted to say hi and that I am thinking of you. Have a nice week.(((HUGS)))

[Kim07]

ACJ,

Do you have any particular places you think I should see while i'm in London from Nov 7-Nov 11? This is my 1st trip to the UK, my H's 2nd, but its' business for him, i'm just tagging along hoping to see some sights while he is going to meetings and speeches.

Any ideas??

Thanks,
Kim

[ACJ]

Kim,

I'm not from London and only have limited experience of it myself but I would definately say if you have the time go to see a show in the West End (UK equivalent to Broadway), Oxford St is supposed to be the place for shopping. The Millenium wheel is a must as a trip down the River Thames providing it is not too bad weather. I haven't been myself but the Tower of London is supposed to be very good. There are numerous museums that are free to enter (e.g natural history museum, Imperial War Museum). Nelson's column is quite spectacular. At certain times of the year you can go into Buckingham palace and the Houses of Parliament but I don't think they are open to the public now but it would be worth checking as both are extremely good tours.

Hope this helps.

[Kim07]

ACJ,

Thanks for all the info. I'm going to some of those places w/H. There are other sights i'd love to see that you had mentioned but will probably do those on my own as H will be busy w/work.

We are going to have dinner on Sat. night w/some friends who live in Oxford. I also want to catch the train down to Brighton where my family has close friends.

I'd love to see Stone Henge but it might be too far away, only going for 6 days,,wish I had more time there!

Cheers,
Kim

[ACJ]

You're welcome Kim.

I'm feeling really low at the moment. I think it is the uncertainty of not knowing exactly what is going on as I still haven't had any communication from my L.

Last night D13 went to the cinema with S16, S16s GF, H and OW. I didn't know the GF and OW were going until she came home. She seemed to have a nice time but even after all this time I still hate the fact that H and OW are still trying to play at 'happy families' with my children.

[Truelove]

Hi ACJ,
I know exactly how you feel as I feel the same. I have not felt so down for ages.

But despite it all, have a lovely week-end. (((HUGS)))

[ACJ]

TL I read your thread and I hope your mood picks up soon.

I went to a friend's birthday meal last night. It was a nice evening and even better that it cost me nothing. Her daughter was supposed to get M in the summer but she called it off about two months before the day. They had paid a massive deposit at the hotel. The hotel said this wasn't refundable but they could spend it over a period of time by doing things like last night.

S16 came to keep D13 company so that I wasn't worrying about leaving her on her own whilst I was out. Before I went I managed to take him to one side and tell him how low I am b/c I never see him (or rarely). He told me that he is still at his father's b/c that's where I want him to be. He said if I hadn't wanted it I would never have sent him there in the first place. That obviously pushed a few buttons but I did my best to explain my actions and to tell him (yet again) how this was not the case and that he is still there through his own choice. I asked him if H had told him that if it gets too cold in the conservatory he is currently sleeping in he can come home until his purpose built bedroom has been constructed. He said 'sort of'. When I aksed him what he meant by this he said H had told him that my L had written to him saying that S16 had to go home if it got too cold! So he still continues to twist words. I offered to show S16 my copy of the letter she sent so that he could see that my version was more accurate but he said he did not want to see it as he wants to know nothing about the D. I pointed out to him that by doing this he is unwittingly allowing H to manipulate him. Then I cried a lot and let it drop.

You can tell how far off this planet I am at the moment b/c even though I knew I was going out for a meal I still sat down to eat with S16 and D13 and didn't even think about it until I got half way to my friend's house to pick her up! So as you can imagine I feel very full today

Still no word from my L. It's really affecting me now and I'm almost at the stage where I don't want to get out of bed for fear of what I'm going to find the postman has delivered to me. I know that's irrational but that's how I feel.

Somehow I've managed to persuade S16 to come and stay again tonight. When he asked me why I wanted him to I just said 'because I am your mum and as far as I am concerned this is where you belong'. It was only after this that he agreed.

SIL sent me a TM whilst out last night asking if I wanted to go to their house for a bonfire party tonight. I've agreed but know it will be hard b/c I assume H and OW and MIL will be there not to mention 'our' friends who have not spoken to me since all of this happened and have become very attached to OW. However I'm going b/c D13 needs to keep in contact with her family. S16 will be at work.

[TRUSTING]

I am sorry you are feeling so down. It is very gut-wrenching when the OW have contact with our children. It is so not right.
Also, the anxiety of the legal situation can be very trying.
Remember, there will be an end to all of this. It will get better, I promise. Hold your head up and walk with confidence. You have done nothing wrong. You will eventually see H's and OW's life fall apart. It takes time, but your kids will see who the parent is that has integrity and character.
You are a wonderful person, don't forget it. Don't let them trample your self-esteem or importance.

[Kim07]

ACJ,
Hang in there, it will get better. I truly believe that in the end, your children will know right from wrong and who made the difference in their life. Who wasn't there for them in a lovingly concerned and solution oriented way and who only had chaos in their life.

You are a good mom, friend and wife,,don't you ever forget that!

Keep your PMA up, its' along road but you can do it!

Kim