I was unfaithful

[Molly44]

I don't want contact so that I can be in a better position to Db correctly and to help heal myself.

I suppose it comes down to hating the feeling of rejection etc.

Logically I know it will get better . In my heart I am not sure.

[marriedCrazy]

hating the feeling of rejection

Been there, through there, past there. It's a normal feeling.

heal myself.

This is what we've been talking about. I'm glad you're onto it now. IF it takes no contact, then so be it. As I've said before, that's what I maintain when we're not together. When she's here, I'm cordial. for now. I'm getting closer and closer to filing the paperwork.

[SirPrizeMe]

Yep, stay away for now. You'll do yourself good to be apart for a while. calm down.

I don't want contact so that I can be in a better position to Db correctly and to help heal myself.
yes! yes yes yes
now you are doing something for you. Don't think this is not helping your marriage. it is. it's the right thing.

...until the bubbling vat of emotion simmers down.

oh, and read THIS while you are simmering.
Very inspiring. BND was 3000 miles away from her husband, saw him 12 days in 2 1/2 years. and they got back together. The way I read it, the separation was absolutely necessary in being able to reconcile.