The comment you made about the game of "chicken" is EXACTLY what I was going to post to you when I read your update the other day.
I didn't know how to say it and explain myself and mostly, I don't know what to advise... but I really, really, get the feeling you are both playing "chicken" and do not see how you can "win" unless
1. He gets afraid enough that he's really going to lose you. 2. He doesn't want to lose you more than he wants to take the easy way out.
I know how you feel. It shouldn't be this hard. This isn't fair. This isn't how you deserve or want to be treated. It isn't fair.
I guess... do you love him enough to take the chance of saving the marriage you have in hopes that it can become a better one? Even if there are no guarantees? There never are.... I had no idea my H would turn into the man he has. I figured I wanted the chance to find out. I think we married before I even knew what to look for!
I had lots of complaints over the years. He had many occasions to let me down and disappoint our family. When he tore our marriage apart, after I picked myself up off the floor, I had all kinds of time to think about the fact that now was the time I could find the love I deserved.
He had long since ceased being a man he was proud to be.
After finding this website and taking a long look at myself, I must admit that I had a lot to do with that.
I don't know how to explain this, but once I decided to give it my best shot, I chose to believe in him. I believed in him more than he believed in himself. I found things in his everyday actions to be proud of... at a time when he was anything but proud of himself.
I leapt first then found the faith and he became the man I "saw". Even if I just "got lucky", I got the chance to look myself in the mirror and know I did my best-- for everyone.
I can always divorce him, but there aren't that many chances to save a life.
