It's Tx Mom.. 2nd thread.. trying to hold on...

[hope3343]

Hi TxMom, So H is not having a great week. See how they try and manipulate the situation, Oh if I have to take the kids then I need a 2 Br so we have to sell the house (so H could have it easier???)
When my H told me he was moving, and I told him what he would owe a month he was floored. (since he never had to look at a bill). H said maybe we should sell the house. I told H -- this is what YOU want not me. I am not moving our D out of here till she gets out of school -- 3 more years and you are paying 1/2 of mortg/taxes/ins and child support. I am not disrupting her anymore than I have too. H agreed.
H also got an apt that I have to pass by every day. He is paying $1200 a month. H had delusions that when he moved D15 would come over for barbercues, swimming at pool with friends, and sleeping over. Well 2 weeks into this D wants NC with father and is very angry with him. I try and push her and a good friend who is family therapist said to respect her decision and validate her feelings. I agreed and D15 is doing much better. So now H is spending almost every night at OW's house (He can't live there since she works for him) and I am the one who has all the responsibilities of taking care and driving my D15 to all activities. At the beginning I worried this would bring H and OW closer but now I think that H is having all this pain about D15 and hopefully this will cause problems with OW. We have to gauge the final reaction not how we perceive it.

Originally I thought you should keep kids home but after reading the other posts I have to say I agree -- send the kids to his house. I am sure OW will want to see them - maybe H will have her come over to see them and then let the reality set in. Make sure you give both of the kids some prune juice about an hour before they leave! Let real reality set in -- lol

What do you want as the end result?? It might take more pain on our part but our target is to restore our marriage. We need to try different 180s and see what will happen.

Tell your H to look on Craig's list or garage sales for high chair or better yet -- let him cart all the items he needs from your house for now. Make it inconvenient. Wouldn't we all like to watch our kids for the day and just go home and have a life -- Tell your H that you and him are both doing your part for the kids and financially but you need some free nights also. Don't explain why. I know really it is tearing you up inside losing your babies for a night or two but keep your sight on the end result.
This is going to be a long haul.