It was only after she realized she lost her chance with me that she attempted to reconcile.
But has she really? I'm struggling with the concept of "I'm not in love with you" and "I want to reconcile". I hope you are holding her at arms length for now. I see you as her solution to the baby issue when the father of the baby doesn't want anything to do with her. Be very cautious and make her prove herself TO YOU.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
it doesn't matter what YOU did to ruin the relationship ("your part"), it doesn't warrant infidelity.
I agree wholeheartedly. It doesn't warrant anything of the sort. I said I "helped push her" in that direction, and I believe I did because I became withdrawn from her emotionally and physically. There were plenty of times when she did reach out to me and I withdrew even more. These aren't things she's said, because she won't talk about it much at all, but when I look back honestly over the past couple of years, I know where I made my mistakes. That doesn't mean to say that I think she was perfect. We both have issues.
Someone on one of these boards, I wish I could recall who, said something to the effect that a lot of guys that have a WAW weren't happy with the marriage either and often thought of getting out. I find myself to be one of those people and I don't think I hid that from my W at all.
I'm not saying my WAW was or is a saint. I'm only recognizing my behavior during our relationship.
But I feel like I'm hijacking someone else's thread here.
Me 43: Her 34 M 08/22/2005 Son born 12/31/2006 Suspicion of EA 10/10/2008 EA confirmed 10/11/2008 WAW 10/13/2008
Although we spend time together, sleep in our bed and hold hands, i am definitely keeping her she at about 3 arms lengths emotionally. I expect part of the desire to reconcile is because of the unborn child....that, and the OM who was her 'soul mate' backfired in her face
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
I don't really want to waste a call to my lawyer on this one, so anyone that knows, feel free to chime in.......
My wife filed for divorce august 27th, and we might be getting back together (sure act like it anyway).....what all does she have to do to cancel the divorce action ? Just call her lawyer and say "I changed my mind ?"
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
Filing the stay gives her a way to save face, too. It's a way for her to say "oh, well he's working on the marriage, so I will wait and see." With a stay, she can be magnanimous, but still feel strong. If she just withdraws it, she may feel embarrassed, as if this whole thing was a bad idea in the first place.
