Then, when I say, "I am not happy living like this. I am going to a lawyer", why not say
*OK, if it is what YOU want (he'd get the D but make it MY fault, win/win for him)
or say,
*OK fine (he got what he wanted, he won)
or say
*Hallelujah! (if he REALLY REALLY wants a D)
Hopefully my wife won't read this. There were times when we were first going out when she'd say I wasn't on the same page and she'd say, "I can't do this anymore". And part of me would think, "that's okay. It's hard doing this long distance thing. I'm not ready for more. Maybe this is for the best." I knew I'd miss her. I knew she was a good woman. But I thought maybe it would be for the best. If she harped on me to get off the snide, it made me wonder harder is staying broke up was better. It was super annoying.
I get that sense from your husband with his, "I'm thinking." I wonder if he's thinking that this is the easy way out, but worried that it's a mistake, so he won't commit. Perhaps he's so undecided he wants to put you off for a bit with sleeping in the bed and a small kiss, just enough to give him more time to consider the best option...should he commit, or should he let you file for D.
Honestly, who knows. But I do think you are going about it the wrong way. If saving your marriage is still the goal, all this harping about needing to know where he's at is helping him make a decision that you are more trouble than you are worth. You either decide that you'll ride this out, whatever it is, and quit forcing him to be the husband you want, or you push ahead with your divorce plans and mean it; only allowing it to be derailed by an extraordinary effort on his part to save the marriage. You are somewhere now in anti-DB land and need to move to one side or the other, both of which are at least some kind of DB effort.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
