Journey, thank you for an extremely lucid reasoning. I didn't even realize I was justifying to her until you mentioned it. I believe, but now I am not so certain, that I had refrained from doing that during the separation phase.

I sure wouldn't mind her assistance or her recommendations. I need to remind myself to respond to her as I would to a regular friend and not someone that was familiar with all of our expenses and financial challenges.

And I agree that even if she acts "aggravated" with my request for her opinion, I will continue working on the house with or without her. Like Imageer said, how he has taken care of his place and has had a noticeable impact on his W.

I do have a challenge. I have three kids that are incredibly lazy when it comes to picking up after themselves. Let me correct that, they think that none of the mess is their fault but one of their siblings. I refuse to pick up after them all the time. I have told them to clean up their mess. And sometimes they will help but it is usually half hearted. I hate that when their mom comes over, the house is such a mess.

Anyway, I will take advantage of people on this board for fix up ideas along with DIY. One thing I am very hesitant to do is to replace the carpeting myself. I have two large floors where the carpeting needs to be replaced including our stairs. Only one room, our formal dining room could be converted to a wood floor or a Pergo type. Possibly the formal living room which is in the front of the house but the remaining rooms, stairs and upstairs hallway would be much better suited to carpeting for the style of house I have.

I just read what I wrote and I saw "justification" all over it. \:D

I hope that is okay with everyone here, lol.

I also appreciate your closing comments about where our Ws may be in the whole lifestyle change thing. One day at a time.

Don't stay a stranger. And thanks for pointing out what I was doing.


Me:56, W:51
D:26,S:24,S:22
Married:18
Bomb 9/27/06
Separated 11/27/06
Divorced 10/6/08
Leaving it up to God