So, until this thread locks I have a small update...
axH called and asked if I wanted to talk about my message last night. I said I dont have anything else to say and he asked me "so, all you want to tell me is -the clock is ticking-?". I said yes that was all needed to be said. He started laughing hard and said "Ok whatever, I just have a question, how come you decided to try since until Friday night you were so negative?" I said : "If I dont do it I will not be able to sleep at nights, mainly for the kids", he stopped and then asked me
"so, you are telling me you are doing what you specifically wanted to know I am not doing, wanting to reconcil for the kids?"
I said yes, mainly for the kids and that I had not hidden from him how I feel, I have been pretty honest with him. He agreed he knew how I feel and said OK.
I then asked him if knowing this changes his mind or he needs time to reconsider before we start "doing this"... YES, I asked him if he wanted to back off. He immediately said, "no, no need to reconsider, I know what I want, I've told you what I want, it's going to be fine".
So, I gave him a reason and a chance to back off and he didnt.
After we ended the call, I felt really bad for being so cruel and cold and put myself to his shoes. It felt horrible. So, I sent him a message saying "I am sorry I was that cruel, I should have said that I would want us to be good together but I am very scared" . His reply? "Dont worry, it didnt matter, please relax...!"
Ok, I am now officially entering the Twillight Zone.. K
