Hi Trapt, I just read your thread and I have to say you are doing a great job. I just wanted to give my two cents about the bending and switching visitation with the kids to meet your w's needs...Don't be so accomadating to her...she needs to understand that you are not a babysitter when she makes plans or has to work.
I am glad you did not take her calls...keep it short sweet and to the point...Your W needs to feel what she is missing...being there constantly will not help her or you! Detachment is very hard but try doing things for you..things you enjoy!
I know to you it doesn't look good right now but you never know. If you get bored read my past threads...It also did not look good for me...My H filed for D and we went to court. H then had a change of heart...or in his words..realized the mistake he was making.. and he terminated the D. That was 1 1/2 years ago.
H also had an OW, expected me to be the sole provider for our children and really did not offer any help. Believe it or not...I let this all go...I never called him and if he called the only conversation we had was about the kids (D4 and D9month at the time) I would not call him for anything...I think this made him see what he was missing and that I could function on my own as a person and parent and I didn't "need: him.
What have I learned from all this? 1.I do not take my M for granted anymore. 2. Forgiveness is the hardest thing I have ever done. 3. I do not "need" my marriage, I chose to have it 4. Unconditional love takes patience!
