I know I hurt my W while we were married. Maybe that's something she just can't get over. I'm not saying what she did was right, but I can see how I helped push her into an R with someone else.
I call BS on that. You made mistakes, yes - we all did. We are all human. Making a mistake, even a series of mistakes, is not "pushing her" into the arms of another man. Did you make the secret phone calls to her lover for her, did you make the secret dinner reservations, did you hang up the phone when she suggested you go to marriage counseling? Did you beat her or call her names? Did you belittle her? Did you repeatedly reject her invitations to intimacy, either emotional or physical? If you did any of those things, then yes, you rejected her and you "pushed her" into a relationship outside the marriage. But if your mistake was "not expressing yourself" enough or "thinking everything was fine when it was not", that is not pushing her anywhere. That is called being human.
In normal relationships it is also known as "daily life."
It does no good for left-behind-spouses to engage in unwarranted self-flagellation. Accept responsibility for your part. But be careful concluding that you "pushed her" anywhere.
