HI Mof3 I skimmed through your posts and think I got the highlights.
You had an A for 8 months a few years ago and denied this for 3 to 4 years. During that time things in the M were not good including a seperation. Recently you came clean about the affair and he left. Now you are trying to repair the damage but he is not showing much interest.
Is that a fairly accurate assesment in short form?
As far as Sandi2 saying you are doing everything wrong what I think she means is that you are not handling things as DR says.
Examples are patience, not getting angry, no pleading, etc.
M 39, W 35 D7, S5 Friends 18+ Together 11+ Married 8 ILYBINILWY 4/7/07 - A BOMB 4/29/07 Seperated 5/16/07 - D Filed She Moved out 7/1 D Busted 6/15/08