TXmom, Well we talk about lots of stuff. Ok, think back to when you and H first met or started dating. You didn't talk about your relationship. You probably talked about a lot of things. H and I talk about politics and the elections since we both think the same, stuff going on at work, the kids, mutual friends what ever. It's not a stiff trying to hard thing if that makes sense, I just try to be myself. Since I took the test in the Surviving An Affair book I know what his top 5 needs are so i meet them. This helps me in the conversation area too.
You see for all of us it's almost like our R with our H's need to start completely over. Probably even from a friendship level. Affairs a lot of the time start with an emotional connection and not always sex as with my H. But the very 1st thing that needs to happen is reduce the negative emotions and this can only happen with very very little contact until situation is somewhat neutralized then the friendship can start to happen I think and then maybe a connection can begin to happen again too. Think about getting the SAA book and maybe the book on the art of conversation.
It so important to have talks about other things besides the relationship that's how you keep a marriage fresh too. Make sense?
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
