I'm feeling better now. I know what my goal is and I know that if I can keep my confidence and be happy about what I am doing I will be much better off in showing my wife that I mean business.
Today after my wife left this morning I really busted my butt around the house. I cleaned the kitchen floor, oiled the kitchen cabinet doors, vacuumed the upstairs and downstairs, changed a toilet seat, cleaned the kids bathroom (it was filthy), and then straightened up some other stuff around the house. I didn't do it all to make her think I'm trying hard, I'm doing it for myself because it keeps my mind from wondering and I know the family will benefit from it. That is why I am feeling good about what I've done.
I'm excited to make this a really good week for myself. My goal is to go to sleep tonight, don't say anything when she comes to bed every night so she doesn't think I'm staying awake for her to come to bed. Then I'm going to make each night a good experience for her. This coming weekend I'm going to plan something for the kids and I to do and it will also be my goal to not have any confrontations. This weekend we didn't have any issues except for the fact that I did have to leave due to my own mind screwing with myself.
This is going to be a good week, I can feel it. I just pray that she sees it and it has a positive influence on her.
