I feel that she is using me because she keeps complaining about not having money now that we have split the accounts. She is using me to pay half the bills. She has said that she wants the house but I know she can't afford it on her own. she keeps saying that she wants to split but is taking her time.
I don't know if I can take watching her go over to om knowing that they are getting physical. I know she is not her self.
This afternoon her parents and I went for a tea and I thought we would just discuss the wedding but they had a question for me.
They said that they were concerned about me and told me that that entire family was disappointed with my W. Her father wanted to know what my plans were. He gave me his opinion because he considered me a part of the family and always would be. He said that he believed my W was having a PA (I didn't tell him) so that opened up the topic. I told them that I have been suspecting it a s well (it was pretty obvious) I didn't tell them about the e-mail. They had been waiting for the wedding to be finished to speak with me.
Because they are worried about me they thought I needed to deal with it sooner than later and felt that by my not dealing with the situation I may be allowing her not to take responsibility for what she is doing and that I may be insulating her from the full financial consequences. She has been coming and going living in a fantasy world. My in-laws were very kind when they said all this and truly want me to be ok. It was nice to have the support. They have supported me through this whole ordeal.
They feel that she may be close to a break down and is detached and not herself. This is a common comment from her entire family.
They suggest that I set a deadline with the separation forcing her to deal with the situation.A couple of things could happen She could wake up and perhaps start the road back (not likely right away)or we separate she goes on for awhile and then crashes because the affair can't last as he has nothing to offer her longterm and I would be there to pick up the pieces (I wouldn't tell her that). It would have to be done with love but I don't think I can live in the same house knowing she is with the OM.
I trust all the advice you and everyone else have provided! I am overwhelmed by all of the support you and everyone else have given it's awesome. I guess my question is because they brought it up and they know their daughter what do you think? I probaly missed alot but you get the picture. I love her but fear I may have to let her go befor I get her back.
Jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
