I don't know for sure if I've got this right but he is upset that while I was working away, he gave up heaps of things in order to keep the house in order. Now that I have had a chance to experience the difficulties of keeping house full time he says he can't see that I've made any real effort to keep the house up to scrath and it's getting progressively more run down. He says I just don't get it. That I just don't understand what he had to give up. The thing is, now that I've had a few moments to think about it, while it was certainly nice to come home to a clean house and neat garden, I wouldn't have spat the dummy if it wasn't perfect. I don't know how to do a lot of stuff around the house, I've never had to do it. It's a bit scary and in the past, whenever I've tried to help or do it, he's gotten cranky with me because I am not doing it right and then taken over. I feel useless and incapable of doing the basic necessities like ensuring the lawn doesn't grow weeds. I can't even figure out how to attach the god damn hose connector to the Weed and Feed container to spray over the lawn. I haven't trimmed the bushes out the back. How does one person get all this done, and work full time, and raise a child, and have a life of their own. It seems that h has done all that perfectly but sacrificed a life of his own and resents me for it. It would seem that I didn't understand how much he was giving up for us and whenever he expressed interest in doing something for himself, all I saw was money going out the door and that I would have to work harder to enable that and I felt stretched as it was. sorry to hijack. I just dont' know if I should bother with him any more. Maybe out values are just too different and I should move on and write this relationship off as unfixable. I understand and appreciate how much work he put into the house and making our lives organised but I have not expressed that in a manner that makes him feel that I understand. He's just so perfect and perfectionistic that I feel a failure standing next to him, even though logically I know I am not.
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
