Maybe this post is only for me, and for now I will take that. I saw my new IC on the afternoon of 10/29 he helped with ways to approach my H when he gets on these rampages. It really helped. H emailed me that morning saying he did want to work it out and not split up although he blames me for having some sort of episode that night. What I realized with the IC's help is that (hopefully) my H has a lot of guilt about what he has done and that is why he continually wants everything to be my issue but I need to let him know when he negates my feelings and acts like he did nothing wrong. I know I will still have to deal with that eventually and figure out what to tell our children because I do not want the pattern repeated. (H's father did the same to his mother and wife #2). So everyone agrees our S is at great risk. That being said I've really felt peaceful for the most part the last few days and when I do get the anxiety coming on I try to "Act as if" things were great. Then do what I would normally do if there were not these problems. That has helped. Hopefully H will see me just carrying on as usual and just want to be with me. Who knows. But for now I don't want to ruin my children's Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. We are not promised tomorrow. If we have to split up maybe I can postpone it until Jan. 09. Baby steps!
Me 46/H 48 M 19/T 20 S 16 D 9 Bomb 2/9/08 OW 2/29/08 Ended A 3/12/08 (LIAR)
