My L suggested that I start throwing some bumps in his road, not refusing to let her visit but having plans for her so that she's not going to his place so often during the week. Just to see his reaction.
Hoozh, you KNOW I'm like the biggest proponent of "Affairus Interruptus" and just General Hard-Ass-ness on the board, but I don't like this. To me, the logistics regarding the child(ren) should be sacrosanct, and the ONE area where you don't just do things "to see the reaction."
I'd rather see you apply some pressure in some other areas, and not in this one.
Yes, I will try to do that as a priority. That will be a fine line to walk, and I think will involve some planning ahead with fun things to do on weeknights. Spending the afternoon with H was a spontaneous idea for her, and she expressed it as "dad might want to spend the afternoon with me." It was hard to hear her phone him and get rejected, as I anticipated would be the case. But she was really jazzed about the possibility so I didn't want to discourage her. The bad thing is, I have some un-fun chores to take care of, and she wants to do something fun. Netflix, anyone?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
My L suggested that I start throwing some bumps in his road, not refusing to let her visit but having plans for her so that she's not going to his place so often during the week. Just to see his reaction.
Hoozh, you KNOW I'm like the biggest proponent of "Affairus Interruptus" and just General Hard-Ass-ness on the board, but I don't like this. To me, the logistics regarding the child(ren) should be sacrosanct, and the ONE area where you don't just do things "to see the reaction."
I'd rather see you apply some pressure in some other areas, and not in this one.
Puppy
Thanks, Pup. I know what you're saying. The thing is, H never plans ahead. I don't know what nights he wants D this week even today. So it wouldn't be a change of plans, per se. It's more along the lines of having more control over when she visits, rather than simply whenever H takes a whim. And to try to push a little weekend visitation. Which isn't a bad idea for D's sake, so they can spend more time together not doing homework. And I promised myself early on that I would never stand in the way when D wants to see H--which is why I didn't discourage her call last evening even tho I knew what the outcome would be. And if she wants to spend a particular day with him, we'll go for it. I think she'd enjoy some weekend time too, which is why I think it's not such a bad idea. I will not stand in the way of their relationship, for D's sake; in fact, I wish it were more of a priority for H.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
