I feel what you are saying Bobbijo. Get and/or continue to be active, maybe even hyperactive, w/ God. All of the things he touches and has a part in become golden and beyond precious.
I know you want the tangible, in the flesh feeling of being loved and cherished. We all crave that. His timing will be perfect. He will sustain you for as long as you call on Him to do so. I have shared with many people a truth that I told my darling W in April at our last anniversary but I don't know if I mentioned it to you. She was so intent on me "finding the right person" and all that gobbly-gook that WA's use. She was semi-convinced that she would be doing me a favor by D'ing me and allowing me to remarry and have a family. I told her that to me in my heart I am married to Jesus and to her and that in extremely difficult times of "marital jeopardy" I will always have my primary M to survive on.
Stay strong and keep calling on your Master and Lord to carry you through these immensely difficult times. Jesus is the Way.
