Where is God when it hurts?

[~Sol]

Chazz,

I felt the urge to seek God recently - especially after realizing that on my own I am not doing any good for myself, only cycling the wheels of the same old thing. That's why I am unable to distinguish a good R from a bad one, and I am very, very fortunate I did not get to sleep with this one gal that has gotten my head all tangled up. You could say that I am crying out to God, in hopes that he can hear me, and help to guide me again. I was once very spiritual, but young and naive. Now I am older, and I didn't think that I would need to reach out to God.

I am still unsure if I want to "join" any particular church, but I need to start somewhere. I have been invited many times, yet I resisted. I am now going on my own, it's my decision, with no pressure. It's actually kinda scary to go into a large church, with good people that are Christians, but strangers at the same time. I only know one person there, and he's an ex-coworker that helps with the kid's ministry, so he's not really around with the grown ups. Again I feel sorta lost, but I am trying to reach out in my own way. I once thought that one can be with God and never belong to a church or group. It's possible, but from what I see in the New Testament, fellowship is an important if not vital part of being a Christian. Not to mention all the support one can get from others. There's a power there when I see people giving of themselves, because they want to, and it comes from within. I'm tired of being alone. I know that I am not immortal, and one day I won't be here for my daughter, so I am seeking God again so I can find my purpose in this life, and I want to teach my daughter the truth about God so she can grow up and find her purpose.

I think God is working here.