Single parenting and dating again.....

[~Sol]

Wii,

I just joined the site, and already found at least 38 different topics of interest. Thanks for sharing that!!!!

[~Sol]

Just journaling that I went to church on my own today, with no invitation, but I did seek out a friend that goes there, and he and his wife were surprised I was there. I didn't stay long enough to be able to meet anyone in leadership there, but I did send the church a kind email explaining my visit today and my desire to meet with someone. The message today was slightly unusual, but it was a good message. I forgot how spiritual it feels to learn from the Bible, and see a pastor so passionate about God's word and how we should be living our lives, and be more giving. A lot of prayer requests were mentioned - so many people out there in pain, hurting physically or spiritually.

I am starting my walk back to God to see if I can find reconciliation and understanding again. Fellowship is an awesome thing. I'm going back at 6 and my daughter is signed up for the kid's choir - she's excited about it.

[~Sol]

Just journaling that I went to church on my own today, with no invitation, but I did seek out a friend that goes there, and he and his wife were surprised I was there. I didn't stay long enough to be able to meet anyone in leadership there, but I did send the church a kind email explaining my visit today and my desire to meet with someone. The message today was slightly unusual, but it was a good message. I forgot how spiritual it feels to learn from the Bible, and see a pastor so passionate about God's word and how we should be living our lives, and be more giving. A lot of prayer requests were mentioned - so many people out there in pain, hurting physically or spiritually.

I am starting my walk back to God to see if I can find reconciliation and understanding again. Fellowship is an awesome thing. I'm going back at 6 and my daughter is signed up for the kid's choir - she's excited about it.

[goldeylox]

I just got back from Mass at a parish that is new to me as well. I knew the pastor years ago when he was an Associate Pastor at my 'old' parish. He is a good priest, I'll talk to him this week once my drama settles down. It was a beautiful Mass, I knew I was in a good place the minute I walked in the door. My 'former' pastor won't return my calls...too bad for him.
At first, I thought I would miss my former parish, but the people I love are still in my life, and will continue to support me. Most of all, God knows right from wrong, and Hus will get what he deserves, someday. I hear it's a really warm place there. Lousy benefits though. Peace.
p.s. If I could figure out how to link my threads (there are only 3 or 4) I would, but you can read about my sitch starting with "I Can't Say ILU Anymore"

[~Sol]

Just had a question if anyone out there has been through bankruptcy before? I am in the process, and I weighed all my options - I have none. But I see this as a good thing, a clean slate, and there is life after filing.

So here I am, dating without luck (and changing that), dealing with a divorce that is still recent, co-parenting a daughter into a productive and caring person, working on improving my job situation (learning new skills on my own), going through bankruptcy, and now looking for a good church to plant my roots in. And all the while, it has been prayer that is getting me through all of this and helping me to make the right choices.

The dating is on hold until I decide to join a church. if I do date, it will be with a Godly woman.

Oh, and I am voting tomorrow at 6am. It will be an early day!!!

[~Sol]

Gabby-

I was in the same boat that you are in right now with the house! I was living in it, she left and I paid all the mortgage payments. When she left it got hard as 1/3 of the household income went with her!! So I was able to hold out for a few months longer, and I was facing foreclosure being 2 months behind. I got an agent and the house thankfully sold in 3 days after listing. If you can hold out and sell it then that's the best option. But bankruptcy isn't the end of our credit world either. Everyone says its bad bad bad - but I see it as a clean slate, a new start, just as if you got your first credit card at 18. But I'm also not going back to using credit like I used to - I'm sticking with the cash system, one checkcard with the visa logo, and the only debt I'm going to acquire again is mortgage debt when I can afford my own house again. I read that you can rebuild your credit as soon as 2 years, but they get you with higher interests. It's still good news when it comes to buying another home down the road - one you can afford.

I also had another reason for selling the house - my crazy spouse was visiting me in the middle of the night just to pick fights with me and make me lose sleep. She would come to the house on her lunch break, at 2AM. She was brutal!!! And she could do it legally - enter the house. I've about had enough of her at that point and decided the house would go! I wish I could have bought her out and kept the house, but it was still too close to her job! LOL! I guess I made a good choice under the circumstances - it was a miracle that the house sold that quickly.

Well I only wish for a godly woman, I may marry someone that's far off from that! Never know. I'm not a godly man either, and it's really hard to see myself as one! And as far as dating I try not to take it too seriously. For me it's a process, but dating can get kinda exhausting at times, but sometimes its just fun to get out and let your hair down.

Things do seem to go well, and they go even better if you have a good PMA built up. I know what you mean about the divorce and co-parenting. They can become issues, but they are doable. I think everything does happen for a reason. I know now that me and the ex weren't meant to be together for as long as we were (that's a bar story in itself!) but I always desired a to have a little girl (as well as a good marriage). Now I have a daughter which was my good happening.

[~Sol]

I'm journaling here....

I don't know why, but I am struggling with faith. I'm trying to get right with God, it's hard. And in so doing, I realize I have to get right with the people in my life that should matter to me, which is also hard. I'm talking to someone that I made a terrible mistake with (a female friend) and trying to explain how foolish I was and sincerely apologizing, but letting her know of my intentions to go back to church. I just have this guilt for acting like a moron towards this person, and it's something I regret doing. I know that for guys, all we need to do is say we're sorry - always. I don't want to get into a Mars-Venus essay here, but I should know better. I feel like such an a$$ in how I treated this person. Ok, I shouldn't beat myself up over this, but I hope I still have a friend in her.

Now, when I date, I need to staple a note to my forehead saying "Be a Gentleman you Idiot!"

[~Sol]

More journaling...

I called my friend after we were IMing for a while. I couldn't ask her to forgive me over the internet - too impersonal. So I got it out of my system and formally asked her to forgive me. (I'm not good at this). She said we went over this like 4 times, but none of those times did I say the word "forgive" - I needed to say it. Then I asked her if we were "cool", and she said yes. This is a HUGE relief for me and more so because I was being sincere with her. We are remaining friends.

[whatisis]

Hey Sol, it's amazing how just thinking about faith can make us want to do right. Good job!
I had a struggle with the faith thing and still do. I didn't want to just replace my lost M with something else, that being faith. I wanted my decision to believe to be based on more than just that hole in my chest. I have found that when I go to church I feel good inside, it helps me to realize there is more going on in this world than just my little M breakup! For the past two months I have been attending a new church, one that prides itself on being open to those who are struggling with belief as well as those who are committed. The Pastor and I are going to get together soon to discuss my questions and doubts in regards to Chrisianity. I have to keep telling myself that doubts are not wrong but are a sign of someone who really wants to know what is true. In many ways during this past year faith has been a real blessing but it also remains a struggle for me. This week I am looking forward to attending for the first time a small group for new Christians.
I wish you well in your faith journey.

[~Sol]

Thanks Wii, I appreciate that.

I also want to be sure that I am not filing the void caused by my broken M as well. I know I need structure in my life, and I also know I have done a good job at making the mistakes I've made! Oh if I knew then what I know now!!

It's great that you're at the point to talk to your pastor. Definitely ask away! I think even when you become a Christian, the struggles will always be there - it's a constant fight, we struggle with our own inner demons whatever they might be, and I think it wouldn't be worth it if there was no struggle. Everything I see about the teachings in the Bible point to goodness, that's what has been attractive to me, more so the spiritual men I have met and look up to and that forces me to see my own shortcomings - something I want to improve on. I wish you well in yours too!