Well I never had to deal with this because my H didn't take our son ever over night...and he was 9! My feelings are...they go to "Dad's place"...the oldest should have an air matress or something to sleep on, not with her dad so you don't have to deal with bad habits...he can sleep on the couch or make up a little area for her in the living room on an air matress...that is what my kids did at grandma and grandpa's..it was fun...actually we even got a little inside kids tent for my son to camp out in! I would start with one day at a time to see how it goes for the kids and you...I told my H he couldn't have our son overnight because I didn't trust him (he had some issues going on that were beyond OW although I did tell him she would NEVER be around my kids...put that in the LS agreement and he signed it!) I think the more he comes around to be with kids and you the better able you are to show him how you are changing for the better...plus as others have mentioned it gives OW time to stew and get naggy! Try and control the snippiness (you know that) but I would ask that he get his things out so you can get on with things how YOU want them...his stuff is in the way now!...be nice but set a date (reasonable)...and start rearranging things
