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Originally Posted By: chicki
RMG,

AMEN!! God is ever so constant. He is always faithful.

So true that it usually us humans when not feeling that connected.

I too msut stay in the Word daily and take time to talk w/ Him more during the day. For when I would do this, it kept me close to Him, so much I would sometimes even feel his arms wrapping me up in his arms....<sigh> There's no other better feeling then that for when I was the most down and out, he always comforted me, either by sending someone to pray for me or other ways.


chicki,

God is so faithful.... I believe He has sent so many people my way to help me along my path......

I definitely feel Satan is at the root of this.... I KNOW when my exW ended our M, she thought I would be out dating and having sex with various women.... I think me telling her I "plan on having lots of sex... with my wife!" Threw her off.... I think all the cr@p she had in her head about me... Planted by Satan, OM, "friends" and others....... She really believed..... Instead of seeing me for who I am and the H I was for 12 years... That is for her to take up with God now...

RMG


"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"

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The first thought that came to my head when I saw this title
Where is God when it hurts? was - the same place where you left Him! Was he put away to the corner? You seek Him and He will come, BTW he never left.

I never understood when people blame God in all of this turmoil?
Yes we have free will and yes sometimes He allows for a crisis to happen in order to wake us up and realize we need HIS help.
I am a firm beleiver that no marrige will work w/ out HIM in the middle. I use to take matters in my own hand all the while I kept opening the Word to -lean not on your own understanding.

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Originally Posted By: chicki
The first thought that came to my head when I saw this title
Where is God when it hurts? was - the same place where you left Him! Was he put away to the corner? You seek Him and He will come, BTW he never left.

I never understood when people blame God in all of this turmoil?
Yes we have free will and yes sometimes He allows for a crisis to happen in order to wake us up and realize we need HIS help.
I am a firm beleiver that no marrige will work w/ out HIM in the middle. I use to take matters in my own hand all the while I kept opening the Word to -lean not on your own understanding.


chicki,

All very true.... The problem I personally had was God brought me to my knees... He had my FULL ATTENTION...... I kept getting closer to Him.... As my M disappated......... I thought it would bring Him such glory to have our M restored... However, as my "Christian" exW said:

Quote:
Don't expect God to work a miracle. Our M is over!


What a woman......

RMG

Last edited by RMG77739; 10/30/08 08:38 PM.

"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"

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You still braught Him glory- YOU came back to Him!
Who cares about her- you saved yourself, you worked on yourself first and then you keep praying for her.He will handle the rest.

We all must work on US first, what we can control or change, only us.

I miss X but yet I see so many blessings its like Im freed frm that toxic R. We were 'unequally yoked' frm the start anyways.

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Originally Posted By: chicki
You still braught Him glory- YOU came back to Him!
Who cares about her- you saved yourself, you worked on yourself first and then you keep praying for her.He will handle the rest.

We all must work on US first, what we can control or change, only us.

I miss X but yet I see so many blessings its like Im freed frm that toxic R. We were 'unequally yoked' frm the start anyways.


chicki,

I hear you.... The sad part is my exW was an alleged Christian.... Who came from a "Christian family"..... The disappointing thing is her "Christian family" stood by... They were too afraid to actually speak God's law.... NOT to judge... But, just say what God's law is.... They all cowered with fear over "pushing her away"....

As I stand here, I am FAR from perfect.... Yet, I pray I NEVER allow someone I love to walk into sin with my "blessing" to avoid conflict... She took their silence as their approval... THAT IS SO WRONG..........

RMG


"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"

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Quote:
AMEN!! God is ever so constant. He is always faithful.

So true that it usually us humans when not feeling that connected.


Chiki... my thread title is probably more an expression of a feeling than a statement of blame pointed at God.

I am certain he is out there... and perhaps right where I left him... as you put it in another part of your post. I am simply stating that it often feels like God and I are at a distance for whatever reason.

RMG also comments that we have a god-shaped gap in our lives that we often try to fill with drugs, booze, sex, whatever. Ya... I am familiar with the analogy. And I have most certainly tried to fill the gap with drugs, booze and a myriad of other things. They dont work. If they did, I would still be using them.

I don't imagine that it is uncommon to feel at a distance from God. A large portion of the population dont believe in God. Many who do believe, appear to be living self-reliant lives in spite of believing.

Many of us face calamity or pain and find ourselves having turned to substances and behaviours rather than God. Christians included. If this were not true, why would there be so many obese Christians? Or affairs in churches? Or Christian shop-aholics, web-aholics, church-aholics, control-aholics, debt-aholics and codependents just to name a few.

My point is that it is not at all uncommon to feel at a distance from God. Maybe this is why we are encouraged to "seek". As tangible as we wish God to be, and as much as we refer to having a "relationship" with God, I think if we were to really be honest, we would have to agree that God still remains fairly vague and invisible. Certainly in contrast to the tangible world of objects and people. If this were not so, why would we need faith?

Perhaps this is why the commandments tells us not to have idols or any god before God. Why would it be a commandment if it were not a frequent temptaion? To me, modern gods and idols can be posessions, celebrities, internet, personal image, church cultre ... just to name a few.

Where is God when people (including Christians) are putting these things ahead of God? Probably the same place he is when I ask where is God when it hurts. He is wherever he is. Out there but we often feel at a distance frequently to many of us.

Anyway... this is part of my journey. I am sure there is value in it. I will say this, I do feel God's involvement when I get an eye-opening experience in my recovery. I also feel his involvement and closeness when the unexplained happens. Like a friend of mine who had been on my mind contacting me at exactly the time I was thinking about him. Yet I have not seen him in a year or more and we have little occasion to interact. Or when I surrender a part of my life that I am finding unmanageable and then find it looked after and cared for.

Those are my God moments in my life as it is today.

So anyway... these are my meandering thoughts along life's pathway. Hey! I just realized it is Sunday morning. Maybe this is my church experience for the week?

Ciao.

Chaz

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I just filed the big D on Friday, and God was sitting next to me the whole time. Now I'm headed to Mass at a new parish I'm checking out, since I'm making a clean break. Peace.


Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse
S:22, S:19, D:16
Filed Oct 08, dismissed
Filed again Jan 10, dismissed
Now Piecing
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Goldey.... glad you are moving forward and doing something positive for yourself and your future. Glad you feel God's presence. Looking forward to the same.

No doubt D-day is not a simple or stress-free thing. Mine wasnt. Glad you are making it through.

Ciao.

Chaz

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For my own benefit.... I need to keep a list of abbreviations close at hand.... cant figure out what so many of us are saying.

BTW... is it not a paradox that"abbreviation" such a long word?

Here is the list from anohter part of the forum. Ciao. Chaz


Updated abbreviations

^ and ~~^~~ = bump; to bump the thread back to the top of the list
(((((( ))))) or {{{{{{ }}}}}} = hugs!
180 = Another Technique In DB
ACOA = Adult Child of an Alcoholic
ADDY = Address: Email, Snail Mail, Home, Office
AOBM = Alien on Break Moment
AOM = Almost Other Man
AOS = Acts of Service
APT = Apartment
ATTY = Attorney
AWGTCHM = Michele's book, A Woman's Guide to Changing Her Man
BB = Bulletin Board
Big D = Divorce
BIL = Brother-in-law
BTO = Big time operator
BTW = By The Way
D = Divorce Or Daughter
DB = Divorce Busting (Techniques and book by Michele)
DB'ers = Divorce Busters (People At This Site)
DB'n = Divorce Busting (the technique)
Dbing = Divorce Busting (the technique)
DD = Darling Daughter
DH = Dear Husband or Deadbeat Husband
DITHL = deer in the headlights
DR = "The Divorce Remedy" (Techniques and book by Michele)
EA = Emotional affair
EOM = Emotional Other Many
FAQ = Frequently Answered Questions
FN forum = For Newcomers forum
FOO = Family Of Origin
FWIW = For What Its Worth
FYI = For Your Information
GAL = Get A Life (aka "Make Yourself Happy For A Change")
Going Dark = no contact. It is usually done to see if your WA misses you and tries to come around.
GH = Ghost Husband (Not Really Here Any More)
GW = Ghost Wife (Not Really Here Any More)
H = Husband
HD = High Desire
HOM = Hold Onto Myself
HP = His or her place
HTH = Hope This Helped
HW = Home-Wrecker
IAE = In Any Event
IC = Individual Counselor (or counselling)
ICQ = A chat system which stands for, "I seek you".
ILY = I Love You
ILYBNILWY = I love you but not in love with you
IM = Instant Message
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion
INS Forum = I Need Support Forum
IOW = In Other Words
KLA = Michele's Keeping Love Alive tape series program
KLA forum = Keeping Love Alive Discussion Group forum (for future)
LBS = Left Behind Spouse
LD = Low Desire
LF = Lady Friend
LL = Love Languages
LMAO = Laughing My A$$ Off
LOL = Laughing Out Loud
LR = Last Resort (technique in DB)
LRT = Last Resort Technique (What to do when all else fails)Explained in detail on page 177 in Michele's "Divorce Busting" book
MF = Man Friend
MFC = Messenger 1st Class
MIL = Mother-in-law
ML = Making Love
MLC = Midlife Crisis
MP = My Place
NML = No man's land
M/V = From the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray
NPA = Not particularly attractive
NRG = Energy
OEA = Online Emotional Affair
OG = Other Guy
OM = Other man
OOM = Online Other Man
OOW = Online Other Women
OP = Other Person
OR = Our Relationship
OW, Ow = Other Woman
PA = Physical Affair
PMA = Positive Mental Attitude
POV = Point Of View
PT = Physical Touch
QT = Quality Time
R = Relationship
RBTL = Read Between The Lines
RIR = Room I Rent
ROFL = Rolls On Floor Laughing
S = Son
SAFE = Stay Away From Ex
SAM = silly alien monkey
SBT = Solution-oriented Brief Therapy (kind of therapy Michele does)
SIL = Sister-in-law
SIT or SITCH = Situation
SITD = Still In The Dark
SO = Significant Other
SL = Sex Life
SOB = Son of a Bitch
SSW = Sisterhood of Separate Women (variations could be SDW, SSM, SDM, etc.)
STBX = Soon To Be EX
STBXOM = Soon to be ex-other man (or guy)
STBXOW = Soon to be ex-other women
TMI = Too much information
UCL = Unconditional Love
W = Wife
w/ = With
WAS = Walk Away Spouse
WAW = Walk Away Wife (a syndrome Michele explains in her article on this site)
WB = Write Back
WOA = Words of Affirmation
WP = Warrior Princess
WTF = What the…, Why the…, When the…, Where the…,
WTG = Way To Go

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Chaz,

All so very true and I agree completely.

Goldey,

As I sat infront of my D judge on our last & only trial w/ X and his attorney across the table from me, I too did not feel alone for I knew God was my attorney sitting right next to me. He assured me he would be there for me. My attorney (God) made sure I received all that I wished for (fairly).

Thank you my sweet Lord!

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