Stepping a toe into the light

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Julia,

I'm sorry that you are in pain. It sucks doesnt it, its hard to find things out indirectly too and then have unanswered questions.

I wanted to clarify what I meant, as you and Lisa didnt agree.. I didnt mean to have a conversation with him in terms of getting the WAS to come back to the LBS, or turn the sitch around, or as you say, it would "work". What I was talking about was acceptance and yes, dignity. To stand and face the person that left you for an ow. Its not a DBing thing, its not a, see if we can turn this around thing, its a confronting the truth thing.

And no, I wouldnt advocate making them guilty, or getting mad, or being undignified! But, as you say, you dont feel the need to have that conversation or say 'goodbye' to him, as I do with my ex, so then theres no need to ask to see him.

Like you, we will have to other conversations too, abotu money and houses, but they are practical things, not emotional and I am concerned (for myself) that if too much time goes by, it will all be water under the bridge and my ex will be less likely to want to meet so that I can emotionally say goodbye to him, it will become less and less relevant, the more weeks/months that he spends with his new gf.

Sometimes you have to admit defeat, IMO. If they turn round and pop up out of the blue (like MichelleLTs H did) then, wow, that would be great. Kalni said it, often, its not until you actually let go and move on proper that the WAS comes to their senses! I guess I feel in the same boat as you.. I got no romantic overtures all year and he has made his choice public too, so I have to accept and respect his decision.

I dont really see what choice we have left Julia? But I am thinking of you today,

Al xxx