I guess it's over

[Esky94]

(((trixi)))

Sorry to hear you've got so many more things going on. I hope the biopsy works out.

I'm amazed you had dinner. I'm scared to invite my W and kids over for dinner because I think there won't be any conversation and we'll just get the girl's hopes up.

It's nice to hear you had a good time. I'm just totally impressed you've hung on this long. You're a stubborn one, aren't you?

[start tongue-in-cheek]
I don't think your H is telling you about other women because he's trying to get you jealous. I think that's just his "self-talk" leaking out and trying to validate himself that "I'm the MAN. The MACK-DADDY. Look at the size of my dick!" It helps him feel good that he's hot and he's hoping you'll agree with him. So he tells you. The next time he starts that just raise an eyebrow and say "It's okay, honey. I like you just the way you are."

Personally, I wish my W had said that to me more often. It's nurturing, without the mothering overtones. And not having mothering overtones is important because I know I don't want to be married to my mother. EWWWWWWW!
[end tongue-in-cheek]

I think dating is a bad idea for two reasons. It gives him some leverage on the relationship and that's not good. Especially if you think he's trying to get you to file. That's a wussy way to deal with it. If he had real backbone, he'd have the affair, file for D, make sure you and the kids were all set up. All short and sharp. But obviously, he still needs time. Don't accept his offer to lead...if you know what I mean.

The other reason I think dating is bad is because I don't "date". I just "do stuff with people". No expectations. No hanky panky. Well...okay...I flirt...but I don't touch.

Doing things in groups with members of the opposite sex is not a bad idea, though. I wish someone would come up with a list of "legal things you can do with the opposite sex while separated" that are fun, but are honest and clean. eg. hiking as opposed to camping trips. Ballroom dancing or cooking class or wine tasting or continuing education courses.

Take lots of photos, especially if guys are around and squeeze in tight.

I gotta ask a question and maybe this is answered in a previous thread, but did you have a lot in common with you H? Did you have lots to talk about when you were first going out? I'm wrestling with this 'seeming' lack in my sitch and I'm taking a survey.

(((hugs)))