Now see what you have gone and done... Now Bworl is posting here.. and I am gonna be regulated to saying.. I agree. What a life I live.
I need all the help I can get, that's for sure...
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
I do find it interesting that Deb13 is posting.
Yeah, why is that? I want to ask Deb so many things but I am holding back because somehow I feel it wouldn't do me good at this phase. I am so glad she and Bill post to me, thanks guys.
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
I guess I would say.. I am only on the fence because of the "other" people involved. I don't want things to get taken the wrong way. It is not too far off from when I first started posting to you. How do you say things.. and not "offend". It is funny to me how life tends to work in cycles. You start something.. only to end up right back where you started.
You dont need my permission to post anything to me, you know that. And you know how NOT to offend people. So, get your pen/pecil out and stop playing.
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
This is hard for me.. but..
Yeah, right!!
"On my way to the movie theater I talked to stbxH. I think during our convo I asked him most of Bill's questions. I repeated myself about what I want, was very clear, tried not to accuse him about the past and let it all out."
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
I have been hinting at you.. for you to do this for months. I think about the time he kissed you on the stairs. I remember your reaction. Sometimes you can put people in a situation.. and everything seems "normal". I don't know everything that was going on in that moment.. but I can see his "heart" in that moment. DAM and all.. just reaching out. He just does not know.. how to "love" you. It's hard.. unless someone "guides" you. Trust me.. I know!!
That was 6 months ago, almost 7!!! He did have the chance since them to come out and say what he felt or wanted.
"He was nice, wanted to talk and said that" "he loves me"
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
And is struggling to find a way to show you that. We could apply "People say the damndest things.. when they don't know what to say".
Somehow I feel it's his business to find the way. He needs to do work as well.
"he wants the same kind of relationship I want"
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
At the same time... he is not really sure what that means.
Well, he better find out soon.
"he would never come back if he thought it isnt possible"
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
Ready, willing and able. When that happens.. someone needs to lead. You got my vote.. thats all that matters.
I think that is my problem. I dont want to "start" cause I know I have to lead. I dont feel like it, plus he complaint in the past "I was leading too much"
"just as I tell him and show him I changed, I have to let him show me how he changed"
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
He showed a change.. in doing what he is doing now.
I see that.
"he want us to go through everything and then leave the bad things behind us and take the good things with us"
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
I thought we started over.. after you made your first post here. I do get confused at times.
Me too, I thought he was repeating my words.
"his goal is to make this one year a milestone for us that will lead us to the best R possible"
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
He is so asking you to lead.. cause that is what you do. Nothing better.. than having someone.. follow along.
See above, dont want to lead.
"he wants to do the work, he is aware it will be hard"
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
Cause he knows you. I have the sneaking suspicion.. he knows you really well.
Yes he does. In some ways. I am going to be difficult as he thinks I will be.
"I need to tell him I am willing to try to allow him some room to act"
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
Cough.. Cough.. I am sick.. but I think what is stuck in my throat is.. Make a decision.. and look for him to act upon it.
How is your lung btw? I am trying.
"he doesnt want to tell the kids anything either nor disrupt their routine until we both feel its safe"
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
Right there.. he said it.. I will "Work" at your pace. I don't know.. I may christen this guy a Advanced DAM!!
He dosnt really have a choice. If he pushes me, I am gone. He feels that. He is not stupid. Advanced DAM? Hold your horses...
"I have had enough of this crap and frankly I cant take anymore. I am about to go on a defense, "ptotect me" mode and go numb again... My way of caving. Right now I dont think that would be a good idea but it seems more and more likely to happen... "
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
People stand out.. when everything is against them.
I know that you are a stander outer.
Don't let your "Emotion" hold you back.
You know I am watching.. and the second I see things "go bad".. I am gonna tell you. I am gonna support you.
In the end.. you have to give this a chance. That is what all the "Work" was for. This chance. I agree the timing sucks.. maybe I should have been more clear. You have to find a way.. to not be numb. And finish what you started. I have said this many times.. I am not sure why you have to walk thru all this. But my gut is telling me.. there is a reason.
Trying...
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
Don't make me go and change my signature.
You wouldnt do that!!!
"Maybe I will have a breakthrough moment tomorrow..."
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
How do you have a breakthrough moment?
A light bulb comes on without expecting it. Usually happens when I am in the shower (pretty dangerous with all the water in there).
Ohh, that was fun with quotes and colors etc... It has been a while. Anyway, woke up today feeling I wanted to cook. Good sign. Maybe I am not as depressed as I thought I am.
Ali, your horoscopes must be based on my chart... Too accurate.
addie, I will look for you.
(everyone) I didnt get to Shrek III, only watched Shrek I and then fell asleep...
