I think I got divorced today.......

[Holly06]

Actually, really it is not that bad.
I have alot of defense mechanisms..
One of them is the couple that I am traveling with. The bickering that goes on in a married couple,
well it reminded me of TJ and I at our worst.
Now I know how horrible it is to be treated that way, and I would never take love for granted again.
That is what I have had to learn. I am so grateful that no one treats me that way.
Another thing I use as a defense mechanism is all the harm and lying that TJ is doing. Why do I want that in my life?
So it all come back to God. He has a plan, and it will lead me to happiness on some level.

Then there is the fact that I am getting to be pretty intuitive.
My intuitive thoughts are that this divorce was necessary for TJ to learn the value of me. He needs a complete faith overhaul.
Then we will be reconciled.
I really truly believe it.
So I am praying like he is coming home, and living like he is not.
And I spend a lot of time in prayer.

I am writing this because so many of us wonder how it will feel. You always hear of the devastation and pain.
I chose to not be devastated and pained. I chose to take it in stride the best I can.
I just trust God.
If this helps someone else out there, I am grateful. It is not without pain and loss. But really, is is bearable, and even in my best interest.
Because after all, it is just a piece of paper that gives me financial security.
I am still his wife in the eyes of God.
Take care.
H.