well, I'm one of the ones that believes in allowing the WAS spend time if they want to.

I think on the kids, do what is best for them, and I would agree that them staying home might be best for now. Hopefully things will turn around and they'll never have to go to another home.

If you choose this, then specifically say, I would love for the kids to stay at the house where they would be more comfortable, but I need your commitment to keep any contact with OW out of the house, not just for me, but for the kids. Can you do that?

on the holidays, if you really feel like him not coming to thanksgiving, I don't think it's a big deal. Just know he might be going to HER families parties.

I just realized the age differences. I'm thinking your H knows that he doesn't want to be with this girl forever. But she makes him feel good and feel young again. Their R is going to be short lived. IMHO. You just need to start learning to be fun, to take care of yourself physically and mentally (if your not already) and be carefree. For your H to want to stay at your house, and come to holiday things, shows me you have a lot of hope in this sitch.

Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."