Finally a new wifey thread

[The Wifey]

(((Everybody that posted & read but didn't post)))

I love you guys!!!!!! Really, we have to have a DB get together in several places around the country so we could meet.

Journaling:

Moving home was about me. I know I felt like a fish out of water the entire two months I lived with my girlfriend. I couldn't sleep without taking something, I didn't bake for 5 months, I hadn't fed my birds since the bomb dropped and my knitting project stayed in its bag not worked on the same length of time.

I just had this overwhelming feeling of enough is enough. He still can take however long to think, to decide, to whatever, but I am not going to be away from my home while he does it. And I guess if he decides that he has to go to do it, then that is ok, too.

We had just gotten to the point that he was calling me and we were meeting for dinner. I took me so long to not call him, but once I went without calling him it got easier. Not that I didn't call at all, but it was mostly related to our son.

But I reached a point that I decided that I was too much in limbo. I made it clear in a card that he needed to let me know where his head was. It was clear that I love him dearly - but that if he didn't want me it would hurt, but I needed to know something. I also let him know that he didn't have to have everything decided, just that he needed to give me some clue where I fit in his life.

As far as coming home - he didn't say a word at first. He had left for work before I woke up the morning I came home. And man I slept really really deeply that morning. I hardly heard him get up I was so sleepy.

I met my son for dinner after work, then went to my friends to get some stuff. I stuffed my car and went home. He knew I was coming.

He hardly talked to me and acted like he was a bit in shock. He was watching a movie when I came in. I kept busy unloading my car and putting things away. When I finished I sat down and watched the movie with him.

He had grabbed his blanket and pillow to be comfortable while he watched the movie. He moved my pillows and blanket & my nightgown to the room I slept in over the summer while he was getting his blanket.

I spent some time on the phone and the computer after the movie. Then I said goodnight. I grabbed my pillows & blanket and went in our bed.

It was funny, he came down the hall when he was done watching tv, brushed his teeth, and then turned on the hallway light. He looked in the bedroom door and saw that I was in bed, sighed and then turned around and slept on the couch. I had a small chuckle to myself, because I slept in the other bedroom July until I moved out in September. I am home and I intend to sleep in my bed.

In the morning I got up at 7:30 in the morning and went on the couch with him. He didn't wake up and just curled up to me. (Many years of habit I guess.) We stayed there until 9:00.

When we woke up he was quiet, and did not say a word really until I asked him a question about something. He answered my question and acted somewhat normal.

We talked about a website I sent him a link to, for a toy hauler. It is a combination rv, toy hauler, & garage.

Then I had to leave for IC.

When I came home he wasn't here and it was fine. I was surprised that I had 2 voice mails from him. One just said call me when you can. The other one I didn't listen to at first. I didn't get the message that was left at 12:25 until after 3. I called him then and he said he was out looking at cars.

He also wanted to let me know that he had gone to work to do some things, and the guys wanted to go see a movie or something and then might have a few drinks. And if he drank he would just stay at his friends rather than try to drive.

I thanked him for letting me know and that I appreciated him doing that. He said if I tried to call later not to get worried if he didn't answer because he would probably have it on vibrate while he was with the guys. I said that was fine, that I wouldn't have a need to call since he let me know so I wouldn't worry.

I took a nap for a while. (It has been a long time since I did that! It was heavenly.) Then I went to the Turkey & Biscuits dinner at a local church. I ran into my 2 adopted grandma's. It was so great to see them. They pray for me and my sitch every day.

After the dinner I went to the store, rented a couple movies, and bought some bird seed, then came home. It is interesting that this is the first time I've filled my feeders since June. Again, the little things are most significant to me I guess.

Right now I'm doing this post, then I have to call a friend back, then I'm going to watch a movie.