It's Tx Mom.. 2nd thread.. trying to hold on...

[PositivelyMommy]

{{{TxMom}}}, if H wants to party with the singles and give up waking up with the girls, then that's what he wants to do, sweetie. Not EVERYONE wants that, I don't and I am sure some other family men out there wouldn't either. Remember our WAS are having some major issues.

To address your OW's concerns. This chickee is 25 y.o. You think she wants to settle down and be a Mom? To someone else's kids? REALLY? No way. This chickee is in it for fun. She doesn't want to be bogged down with the day to day responsibilities of children. I love mine but they are hard work. So if and when she meets your kids and sees your H with your kids, reality is going to hit her like a 2 x 4. She may or may not stick around. Can't go partying with the kiddies in tow! It's going to get old very soon. It will take a very special person to love someone's kids. And if she is a very special lady, then great, your kids will be loved whereever they go. My bet is that she is a typical 20 something, very self-centred and doesn't do volunteer work and build communities. What do you reckon?
I think she will run the other way when the dirty diapers arrive.

Also, don't worry about the sleeping arrangments. Just explain to the kids simply and set firm rules about your house. Make it like it's the house rules and you have no control over house rules. (As in, 'I would love for you to sleep with me, but that is the house rule. Sorry, darling.' They will tire of arguing with you and accept it.

TxMom, don't think he is having such a good time leading two lives. He is not. He is probably eating himself up with guilt. This is going to show in his face around you and around OW. So don't let the subject of 'What a great life he's leading' influence your DB'ing. Trust it baby, leading a double life is HARD WORK. He is fighting with his conscience and at the same time trying to find pleasure. Sorry, can't have both unless he is totally cold-hearted. And I don't think he is that because he is still spending time with kids and is trying to be a dad.

So in summary, DB your butt off, have in your mindset that he is feeling miserable (and he probably is). Let the chickee deal with dirty diapers if the time comes but don't worry about it now. Don't take on added stress before you have to, OK?